I just need to rant because I know it’s hard enough for my partner to hear because it’s affecting him directly.
BEfore we begin my step daughter will be G and mother of stepdaughter will be M
G (9) (and brother) come to our house every second weekend. For as long as I can remember (probably since she started school), she has come to our house on the Friday afternoon with her head filled with so many lice and eggs.
This weekend I have just about had enough of it honestly. I’m so damn sick of them coming over here her head so bloody infested (step son had them this weekend too for the first time in a very long time)
My partner has said something to M so many times and tells her that we have treated her hair and blah blah blah but the same thing happens time and time again. G seems to think she gets them from her niece (similar age) that she sees and extreme amount. This weekend she thinks that she gets them from a friend at school so I think we will need to call the school tomorrow morning and advise that we have treated her hair and all of that.
The other thing that pisses me of is G says M checks her hair but never finds anything. Why is it that when she comes over here I find so damn many in there!? Every time! G also said that M puts treatment in her hair but tells G to comb it herself in the shower because she’s too busy with her other two children (3 & 4)
Arrggg how can some people be like this?
There are so many other things that go on in that house and with their stepfather that I am recording for down the track when we get a bigger house and have them week on week off.
In the meantime though, what on earth can we do? I feel like there is nothing else we can do and are just going to have to repeat this cycle every second weekend that they visit. 😔
Also just something to add to this that’s a bit irrelevant. M has recently got a boob job, always getting her hair dyed new colours and always getting new tattoos yet kids are infested with lice and the rattiest clothes 😡
16 Replies
Nits are awful! I don’t have any advice but really understand your frustration. You could always KP24 her hair and send her home with it still in, that stuff is a bitch to get out haha
We used to have this happen. Nits, impetigo (when we had a new born!!), gastrobugs, you name it. No warning just turn up and leave them. As far as the nits went, we treated them a number of times and then his Dad just cracked the sh-ts and shaved his head. Mum was not impressed and complained later that she had family photos that week but do you know she never sent him untreated again.
I have always used KP24 (I know it’s yuck but it works) and for my boys I cut their hair short as possible. Also sprayed everything with tea tree. Maybe you could buy her a full set of tea tree hair products to use at mums.
Poor kid she’s probably getting teased at school too.
As for mum - some people just have their priorities in the wrong places. Don’t spend too much time thinking about it, will drive you nuts
Nits are really hard to get rid of. Let her know youve treated so she needs to change pillow cases. Give her a leave in oil or conditioner and tell her to lather it on daily. And wash and spray their school hats. And tie her hair up. Let her know how they jump when heads are close or sharing pillows or hats. Then retreat in a week again. Hopefully the oil or tea tree helps keep them away.
I found the best way to kill them all when there is a well set in infestation is 3 different treatments all at once. An oily one that goes on dry hair, follow the directions for that then use one that goes on wet hair, follow the directions for that. Then use one to remove eggs and comb it through with a metal comb, I had one with ridges on each tooth it was amazing everything came out. Hurts like a bitch though so make sure you are only doing small sections at a time with the egg remover or conditioner with tea tree oil. Once you do this it will be much easier to do every fortnight, just use one treatment and comb out. Record how often you are doing her hair and how many lice are getting combed out each fortnight if you like.
Get dad to call the school and have a chat to the principle about her hair always being infested with nits. See if they have any solutions because she will be infesting other kids at school.
Also you have to get rid of the eggs. So M telling G to comb her hair in the shower is not going to get rid of the damn eggs. Also 3 and 4 year olds are not hopeless so thats a shocking lazy excuse to not comb the eggs out.
Try not to think about the mother's messed up priorities. You can do anything about it sadly. Just make the kids feel like your number one priority when they are with you. Poor things. I bet G feels guilty for her infestations.
Your doing a good job.
Ita obvious the other house isn’t cleaning and washing the child’s bedding and linen. You’re treating her and she’s going back to the same bed and pillow she was using before she left. Are you cleaning all her linen and things at your place. Spraying furniture with big spray. Yes it does kill them. All in all in the end until both houses are treating and washing kids hair all linen and spraying the furniture then it’s going to keep happening. Having a 3 and 4 yr old doesn’t excuse you from parenting your 9 year old or treating them for nits. One party is being lazy and the other is putting in all the effort. You’re either gonna have to stop having her or put up with it. Becasue the other party isn’t going to change. You could send her back with a shaved head but that’s not gonna go down well. But it will fix the nit situation.
Infestations like this are usually because the hair is never properly treated, not so much of what is on pillows and sheets. Eggs need to be completely removed and if that is not happening then it doesn't matter how often you wash everything because there will be another 1000 eggs hatching anyway. Someone needs to just spend a good couple of hours treating the hair and removing all the eggs. Lice would not survive on the bed linen between visits at OPs place, not sure if a weekend is long enough for them to starve at Mums.
Cold water doesn't kill them. So its not really obvious what the bio mum is doing in her house.
Hi
Yes we do wash everything, down to the cushion covers on the lounge.
I agree that when/if it is treated at home, that is the extent. It’s as if she doesn’t wash linen and try to get rid of everything. I have also hear head lice/eggs don’t survive off the host after 24 hours so surely the ones at home would be dying when she is with us.
Thank you to the person for the bug spray suggestion, I didn’t know that!
Please don’t shave her head 😫 I know someone who did this to a little girl and it was so humiliating for her! And short haired people get nits. Unfortunately it’s not as simple as treating them - if the school has an outbreak it’s an uphill battle that doesn’t just involve her bio mum. It’s all the kids she comes into contact with too. I’m shorty that this is happening and admire you for treating them where maybe her mum isn’t. Try not to show the little girl your frustrated though as it seems maybe her bio mum doesn’t have much time for her! You maybe the only one showing they truely care for her welfare!
Just putting it out there. One drop of flea control on that kids head after treating her hair for lice and you shouldn’t have anymore nits for a few months at least. Also insect repellant is amazing in hats. Make sure they’re being washed too. The chemist says the only reason they don’t recommend it is because they can’t sell it. I’ve done it and was amazed at how well it worked. The shaving of the head thing was a joke. I’ve seen it happen too, poor girl was traumatised by it. But simply whatever you do isn’t going to fix the problem until the other party does their fair share. One of my kids had an infestation once. Just once I managed to get rid of it quick smart. We haven’t had lice since we moved schools to a tiny school. I thank those parents all the time for not being lazy gits that won’t treat their kids. I was treating 3 kids almost weekly until we moved because I didn’t want to get them again.
Mist treatment requires a second go 7 days later. Can you do a weekend swap so that you have her 2 weekends in a row and give her a detangling spray with essential oils in it to use at home each morning as a preventative?
Honestly, when my daughter was in prep and year 1 she CONSTANTLY got nits. I would treat and treat and treat and she still got them soon after. My ex and my daughters step mum called me every name in the book and treated me like I wasn't doing anything! Then I moved her to a new smaller school, got rid of the nits in the holidays and she hasn't had them since! That was two years ago when I moved her.
Agree. I went through a stage in primary school, it sounds awful but my school was in a lower socioeconomic area and I think that was part of the reason nitts were such a huge problem.
My mum was fastidious with hygeine and treatments etc but 2 days after treatment and with her painstakingly sitting there for hours pulling the eggs out, I'd have a head full again. Moved schools and bam, never had lice again!
I would send her home with a cheap bottle of conditioner and a comb each week with a "We treated her on Friday, you'll need to do it again on Wednesday, then again a few days later to break the cycle".
Failing that and she really doesn't care, not much you can do apart from treating her at your place to give the poor girl some respite from the scratching!
Definitely feel your frustration though!
Yeah my daughter was at a state school and she constantly got nits. Not at the private school she is at now, she's been clean the whole time. But I didn't want to put that in my original comment because I know people get upset if someone says anything bad about state schools.
My eldest son constantly had nits in prep and grade 1, younger son didn’t get them as often but still got them occasionally. Each time I treated the boys I would let school and day care know, but would get old they hadn’t had any other reports. Eventually I worked out they were getting them when they went to their father every second weekend. Their father’s partner had a daughter a year or so older than my eldest. I did the right thing and let him know each time the boys were treated and asked that the girl be done as well, only to be told she didn’t have them. I would ensure they did not have any on Friday, but on Sunday they would come back crawling again. In the end I ended up using a KP24 preventative spray that I bought from the chemist and would drown their hair with it on Friday morning and they wouldn’t have any on Sunday. If I forgot to use it they would come home crawling again. They haven’t had any since the relationship ended.
Would it be possible for school to spray her hair each day with a preventative spray once you’ve treated it? You would need to get a pharmacy label put on it and complete a medication form. You can only ask them. Also, comb her hair twice a day with cheap conditioner and a nit comb when she is with you to ensure that all eggs have been removed. Dad needs to tell M that she needs to comb the child’s hair as a child cannot comb her own hair and get everything out.