I need advice... My 10 year old son has been having panic attacks and anxiety on and off for the past 2 months at bedtime.
It all seemed to start after seeing House with the clock in the walls (PG) where we had to leave halfway through because he was scared.
Every other night from around 7pm ( bedtime is 8:30pm) he starts getting worked up. Vomiting, shaking, needing to urinate every 5mins, crying. He even wants to sleep in the hallway near our room even though he shares a room with his brother.
We try and reassure him. Calm him down, turn lights on, give him teddy bears. This contiunes for a few hours until he finally falls asleep.
We have an appointment coming up with the doctor and are currently trying natural products like lavender, Camomile.
7 Replies
Have you asked him what he's afraid will happen? Monsters, ghosts etc? Could you try make a 'Monster Away' spray for him with some water and tea tree oil or something and tell him to spray it around to keep them away? I haven't seen the movie so I'm not sure what could have triggered it or what he could be afraid of
Yes we have asked him several times what he's afraid of and up until earlier in the week he had said he didn't know. Then he came out with people dying :(
Do some reading on anxiety and kids.
The main points are to explain these are feelings. It's not real. And we can control it.
1. Breathing. Proper breathing can change the whole fight or flight response happening and bring back calm. It's very important.
2. Determining what is real and what is not (fear) the response is very real, but we can control that.
3. Recognising the response in his body (feeling sick, worried, headache, tummyache, wobbly legs etc) and knowing this is because of his worries.
4. Having a selection of calm down strategies to choose from to help him make that effort to calm his body again. (The internet has a marvelous range of suggestions, let him choose a few that sound good to him and then each night he can choose one and do it in bed for ten minutes each night).
5. Nice stories/music and a very calm bedtime especially important the more hyped up he is (which is difficult sometimes - it takes a lot of patience)
Hi, we've been through something similar this year with our 9 year old becoming quite apprehensive at night.
We've introduced relaxed breathing and music, and taken him for walks late at night (way past his bedtime) to see his neighbourhood (immediate streets) and the sounds of people /traffic /general noise. A big part of what made him anxious was the night-time noises he heard so showing him really helped.
The brave program helped our son. Worth a look and it's free.
http://www.brave-online.com/
Awww this makes me sad. Your poor little guy.
I see a psychologist for the exact same fear and I am 30!
My psychologist has told me many times that most people realise their own mortality around the pre teen to teenage years, so he could have reached a point where he is understanding what this means, and boy is it scary! I grew up in a very religious family so I just always assumed I was going to heaven and then suddenly I realised I actually dont believe this at all...in fact one weekend I had a full on revelation that I was going to die, lose total consciousness and stop 'being'. I guess I realised that weekend I had no beliefs in the after life and that once we die, we are dead. And i had a total full on existential crisis! And this is again when my psych reiterated that generally children go through this developmental understanding but I was delayed due to my upbringing and believing what I was taught until I thought for myself.
So I guess what I am trying to say is I fully understand his fear. This would be a really good time to gently guide him down this scary understanding and let him know that its ok. Set this up for him so he can spend his life not living in fear of of our impending doom by letting him know that it is perfectly normal to feel scared but there is nothing to be afraid of. Dying is every bit as normal as living. Without one we do not have the other. And that he gets to choose what he believes happens after, and that there are many options. Maybe even see if there are any age appropriate books around to help him. Poor little man. I hope he feels better soon.
Get him into a child psychologist asap, they are fantastic. They will get to the bottom of it and help him with way to cope with it and also help you with ways to cope. Poor kid, must be awful for him. Don’t leave it, he will only get worse.