How do I learn to love myself?
I'm really struggling with life at the moment. I'm always grumpy I'm so high stung it's not funny and I guess just really no fun to be around.
I'm trying to be full time mum, full time working mum (from home) full time house wife, a good wife, I'm trying to study to try and get somewhere in life to provide a better future for my family, I'm trying to get fit and not be fat anymore I just constantly feel like im not good enough.
These feelings in no way come from anywhere but inside me. My husband tells and shows me how much he loves me all the time. Our sex life SUCKS but he is very understanding and would never pressure me in that department. (Most of my bad wife feelings stem from here but I just dont know how to fix it)
My kids love me and other people around me have said they love me but why cant I see myself like they do. What I would give to see and feel about my self the way my husband does.
I look around and everyone just looks so care free. I want to feel like that. Instead I'm stressing about every little thing and really feel like we are getting no where.
Any helpful advice on learning to love yourself? I want to be a better me I just dont know how.
How to love myself
How to love myself
Posted in:
Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing
4 Replies
I’ve been feeling like this so much and was scared to talk because people straight away say PND, and it isn’t depression for me it’s just low self esteem. So I feel no one will understand it from my perspective. And for all the reasons you stated, full time mum, full time worker, overweight etc.
I’ve started exercising but with my son, so instead of gym I go on hikes and we go on big walks in the pram. We also do a walk each night as a family so hubby pushes pram and I stroll along, it’s relaxing and we get a chance to talk about our day :) exercise also helps release endorphins that make you want sex, so that’s a massive bonus for us too! As we tend to get home and once our son is in bed we do it 3-4 times a week now as opposed to 1-2 times max.
I also have started putting more effort into myself, wearing makeup more and tanning, shaving often (I was slack and hardly shaved). Just generally letting myself be worshipped by me again haha! A massive bonus was that the other day, I went into the shops and picked up a skirt of all things and didn’t try it on. It fit when I got home! I haven’t been able to do that in about 3 years, I’ve always had to try things on and never bought them because I hate the way they fit. I haven’t taken this bloody skirt off I feel like a queen 😂😂😂
We also do a weekly shop and make sure we’re eating a lot more fresh vegetables, swapping out frozen chips or whatever else we were adding as a side dish.
Start by giving yourself more time of day for you and see if you can start feeling better.
I could’ve written this 18 months ago.
I changed the way I eat.. switched to lchf and the effects are awesome! Aside from the weight loss the most amazing thing happened to my moods, my brain is clear and I’m no longer a grumpy bitch! Everyone close to me noticed it and it was pretty much instant, I notice my self if if I happen to eat grains/sugar, which I very rarely do now, my whole mood changes , And the best thing is it’s easy , it’s not a diet its changing your life style. Seriously look into it, dr Noakes is great start x
Full time mum
Full time work
Full time maid
Good wife
Wants regular exercise
You cannot do it all and there is absolutely no shame in that.
Cut yourself some slack so you're not under as much stress. The sex will return once the stress has reduced
I think the first issue is the trying to do it all ! I do it too so your not alone ... but when your trying to juggle a million things your bound to drop a few and in dropping a few u start to wonder why you can’t just keep juggling ... you’re not meant to !!
Our society has placed such high expectations on what a woman should be able to do and somehow we’ve all taken it on board and believe that if we can’t then we must be sh*t - s**t mums , wives , workers , friends, people .... but your NOT!!!!
You are amazing !! You are doing SO much ! It’s ok to not be able to do it all !!
Self talk is really important ! Instead of beating yourself up and listening to the mummy guilt or wife guilt remind yourself of what you DID get to do each day ... for example u may not have got that washing or dishes done but you did check off 10 other things today or you clothed fed and played with the kids or you managed to clean the lounge room etc
Please don’t forget that everyone has their own stuff going on ... those people that you see that are ‘carefree’ may look that way because they have just run out of their own craziness and have 5mins to themselves (haha) or maybe your looking at people on social media but almost everyone only posts the best of their lives not the ‘real life’ mess !!
The other really important factor to try to establish is community ... don’t try to do it all alone! Ask for help , accept help when it’s offered , take a break and reduce your stress and you’ll probably find u start to feel more good stuff !