Hi ladies,
Not really a question but I’m looking for others opinions on child support.
So I personally think the system needs a massive overhaul my situation is my husband has recently earned a lot more and his child support has gone through the roof so basically every extra dollar he earned this year has gone to child support however because my ex refused to work in over 10 years and because I work my but off he pays $30 per month I’m actually so over it. the only reason my husband earned so much is because after he left his ex he bettered himself and did training that she refused to allow him to to when together as it meant time off work now she is reaping the rewards.
My opinion is the government feels as though one child is more entitled than another because of earnings and they do not take into consideration the fact my husband has taken on my child to raise feed, clothe and educate as well as his own so we work harder to provide for both our children. Please don’t be judgmental in your opinion it’s not needed I would just like to know if anyone else feels as though the system needs an overhaul
Thanks
Child support
Thursday, 27 September 2018 - 14:13
51 Replies
I don’t think there is a ‘fair’ way to do child support that takes into account every single family situation.
Wether we like it or not there are repurcussions for having kids with the wrong person. That might mean you pay a lot of child support to someone else, it might mean you get paid very little. I’ve had to bear the burden of having to pay all the costs of having a child and having 100% care. So I get it! But I have to kind of wear that cause I had a baby with a dickhead! That’s not the governments fault and it’s pretty hard to make legislation to protect me from that.
I’ve also chosen to live independently because I don’t want another guy having to financially support my child, BUT, your partner and you went into this knowing and being prepared to accept that.
What the government could do is criminalise non payers. That would be a big step forward.
Pages
This. I’m owed over 25k 😏
I like how you are full of judgment towards his ex but you pop in please no judgment for me 😒
Firstly his ex isn't reaping the rewards his child is why should his own flesh and blood miss out because he's chosen to support your child?
But yes I'm sure if you speak to both sides they would have grievances with the current system.
Hi
For sarters I haven’t judged his ex and all I stated was the facts. Second he pays over $1700 a month in child support and still demands more money my husband and I have done the math between food,mortgage, clothing extra curricular activity’s, water,electricity,gas,education and private health insurance and we would only spend $1200 per month on my daughter so yes she is reaping the rewards by receiving more what the average parent would spend raising a child per month. So basically the government tells me it takes $60 a month to raise my child and it takes $3400 a month to raise my step daughter because the government says the non custodial parent pays half what it would take to raise the child please explain that to me
Thank you I’m very curious
It’s not about your maths, it’s about ensuring both households are in similar financial situations and the child is provided for the same as if their parents had not separated. The fact you have added all this up says a lot about you, resentment and jealousy come to mind. Yes, HIS child, as well as your children should benefit from him bettering himself and increasing his wage.
Children have the right to be brought up within their father’s means. It doesn’t matter what children cost to raise generally! If their parents were still together most of his wage would go to their up bringing and future...
Pretty shitty that he begrudges raising his kids! Or is it just you that begrudges it?
And you have judged your partners ex - you have made out that she stopped him moving further in his career. The more likely truth is that they made a family decision while their children were young and still needing of their time. Once he has left the family home it is a lot easier for him to do extra training as it’s likely he has far less parental responsibilities and therefore more time to do so.
Yes that crossed my mind too, he was ABLE to train after the split, that's a benefit to him.
So after you split, your ex refused to work. However, after he split and he stopped work that's different because....? She wouldn't LET him when they were together? There is definitely judgement there.
So he shouldn’t pay the child support percentage he is legally obliged to cause you don’t get any from your ex partner? Just like it’s ok for you to judge but not be judged. You can’t take up with someone who has children and then begrudge their financial responsibility to them.
The way it is calculated, I’m sorry but every cent extra he has earned has not gone to child support, it’s simply not mathematically possible, but a lovely sweeping generalisation. So he starts to earn more, yes a PERCENTAGE of that should go to his child because if he resided with said child, they would reap the rewards of this. If he is paying that much in child support, he must be earning a decent wage. As for wanting more for extras, yes I agree, it is selfish (unless extenuating circumstances like child needs critical medical treatment etc.) as she is getting more than sufficient and you just need to place boundaries and make it clear you will not give extra. The fact that your ex is a loser, shouldn’t mean your husbands child should miss out.
The fact you aren’t anonymous is quite spiteful, are you hoping the ex or someone the ex knows sees this post? Subtle NOT, quite passive aggressive. You don’t have the right to publically air your dirty laundry and resentment without the parties who are actually impacted by this have no say in who receives this information. What if the exes employer see this? Take it down or make it anonymous!
Wow I’m very surprised nobody agreed the system needs an overhaul yes these are my personal opinions and I see it from both sides but the large inequality is outrageous for those that are judging my child misses out on a lot of stuff because we can’t afford a simple ice cream down the street while my step daughter throws a tantrum if she doesn’t get a toy at the shops the cut backs we had to make affect not only us as adults but taking both the children on outings everyone misses out on fun stuff. My husband earned and extra $30,000 last financial year and his child support went up to $450 a week from $230 per week that’s over double you people do the math basically all extra money has gone to child support
Husband earns an EXTRA 30k and pays that much in child support, plus you work and you have one kid full time and one part time and you can’t afford an ice cream, then child support isn’t the problem here, you are living well beyond your means. I think you should look at your budget because I’m a single mum, work part time and earn marginally more than your husbands EXTRA, on my own, don’t get anywhere near that in child support and I can always afford an ice cream for my son with disabilities lol I also don’t get any pensions except a small top up of 70 pw FTB. First world problems.
You don’t actually see it from both sides at all! You present quite a one sided view! Maybe don’t date men with children from a previous relationship if your going to begrudge them looking after their child! They didn’t ask to be born remember that!
Very one sided. Seems many second wives come along and have kids and don't agree with the struggle. It must be extra hard when you don't agree with it and resent everything the first wife has and gets. Maybe the solution is to try to see it from both sides more. Try to understand it more. You say you see both sides, but as someone already said, you really don't.
Hubby earn 30k extra and child support increased by 220 per week. That's 11k roughly to the kids and the rest to you. You're still better off... So if you can't afford an ice cream, speak to a financial counsellor for budgeting advice. And yes, I know tax is a factor, but you're still better off!
That's not over double... I think you need to go back and redo your math
I don’t think it needs an overhaul, personally. You keep stating maths and what and said it was more than double what he was paid. 230 x 2 is 460. Not 450. So no, not more than double.
If you can’t afford an ice cream which is dirt cheap you need to look at your lifestyle!
My partner and I earn roughly 50k anually, combined.
We raise 3 kids on that, some weeks I'm scraping up change out of the couch to buy bread, so I'm sorry if I'm not entirely sympathetic to your situation.
Child support is calculated as equitably as possible, yeah it's not always "fair" but that's how life works, it's full of injustices. You can either be bitter about it or you can accept it and learn to live with it.
There are definitely government agencies that need an overhaul, but quite honestly I don't think you and your husband are the ones who need to benefit from such changes.
It is what it is. If their dad's income has increased, it's only fair the amount he contributes to their upbringing is increased too. Why should the kids be disadvantaged because their parents split. If hubby and I earn more, it benefits our kids. Imagine if you were still married to your ex. You'd be much worse off than you are now because with you having a job he probably wouldn't even get a payment from centrelink and you would literally be paying for everything. At least now your husband is contributing to food, rent/mortgage etc. Just let it go or you'll drive yourself mad.
The only overhaul I would like to see; jail for those who refuse to pay.
You sound jealous that his kids get more money than your daughter does from him? If that’s the case, you could always get a job and support your daughter yourself.
Stop being a twat waffle and appreciate that you have a man willing to support his children.
I sure wish I had one that did that for my son.
I agree. She does sound unhappy that her husband's financial position is benefiting his children. But to be fair, she states that she has a job so you obviously didn't read the post properly before commenting and calling her ugly names is uncalled for.
My ex husband pays $1311 for 3 kids that I have 88% custody of. It’s not even enough to pay the rent.
My new husband earns $350k a year, bought his ex a house and they had an agreement that he wouldn’t pay child support in lieu of the house for their 12 year old. This was fine for 5 years then she changed her mind and started claiming. His rate is more than what my ex husband pays for 3 kids and he’s only paying for 1 who he hasn’t seen in 6 years because she took off to QLD and even a private investigator couldn’t find them. I do agree that the system needs an overhaul.
I think it should be one set amount no matter what the other parent earns. When I split with my ex he quit his 120k job to work for a friend who was happy to pay cash so all he had to pay in CS was $28 a month because he told them he had a 0 income. I was unemployed at the time and was on Newstart, technically what I got also equalled a $0 income, but I was 100% financially responsible for our kids. Every cent I got went on my kids but he only had to pay $28 a month for them. I think a set amount will stop parents trying to get out of child support by working for cash or not at all, it will also stop this horrible fighting over custody to get more cs or pay less. It will also stop ridiculous amounts being paid. If they refuse to pay the debt can just keep accruing until it's paid. If the main carer of children becomes unemployed they still need to pay for their kids, it should be the same for the other parent. $28 a month is a slap in the face.
I've been watching a girlfriend go through this. She left a bad marriage and he wouldn't let her take anything. During their marriage he'd made sure everything was in his name, even the bills, so she left without a bank account, no recent rental history, not even proof that she was a reliable bill payer. She took 3 children with nothing but their clothing. She had trouble getting a rental because she had no history. Once she got a place, she rarely ever ate herself (or got a free meal somewhere) so that she could feed her children and bit by bit buy beds, sheets, towels. I mean, she left without so much as toiletries. She literally had to start again from scratch. Meanwhile, her ex-husband ran his own thriving business. (When they divorced, he shut the business down so she couldn't get a share of it and got her to forfeit her rights to a share of his Super in exchange for not fighting her on custody.) He falsified his earnings in the business so that he only has to pay about $40 a month. Then bought himself a new car. With no apparent savings or earnings, hey? He now works under the banner of a friend's business and falsifies his earnings that way. So, the system thinks he earns a tiny amount, and they know she earns nothing (the children were all preschoolers when she left and the youngest was just a little baby). Based on his income, he pays a pittance. Based on her income.... she has to fully support her children on her own (minus $40 per month 🙄 ). I think this aspect of the system is very broken. I think there should be a base amount the government decides is the minimum amount it costs to raise a child, perhaps depending on age. They split it down the middle and both parents, at a base level, have equal financial responsibility. Then adjustments can be made. E.g.. The child has a disability, so their base is increased. A parent has a genuine disablement (eg. end-stage cancer and can't work; ie. confirmed physical, intellectual, medical or psychological impairment - there are some people whose capacity to earn is genuinely restricted), then there's another adjustment. One parent has 100% custody. Another adjustment. Multiple children: another adjustment. And so on. So if a parent earns less than their base responsibility, there would either be an appropriate adjustment due to a genuinely reduced earning capacity, or they're required to earn more to pay their "bills". If a child lives with you, you can't just decide to not work or support them. That's called neglect and FACS frowns on that. I agree that one parent shouldn't get out of financially supporting their child by making their on-paper earnings less than a basic life-sustaining wage with no definable reason.
It most definitely needs an overhaul. The one thing I would like to see is that the money is actually spent on the kids. Too many parents spend the money on themselves while the kids suffer. If welfare is getting an overhaul (e.g. cards instead of cash), why can’t child support? And yes, sometimes it isn’t fair (some families struggling while others are living a life of luxury), but try not to let it get you down. Focus on the things in your life you can control.
Yes, because the majority of single mums have so much disposable income that they spend that particular money, earmarked for child support, to get their hair and nails done.
Yes, get them cards so they can’t use child support to pay their rent, cash to their kids instrumental teacher, raffles/excursions for school. Heaven forbid they buy a bottle of wine once in a while, they absolutely should not be able to use that specific child support money.
Yes, punish the women with sole custody of their kids. Why dont we humiliate them further with little cards and treat them as the untrustworthy money grabbing women that society labels them anyway.
Hey, why not burn just burn them at the stake, Salem Massachusetts style, but wait, that would mean the fathers and the new wives (who begrudge paying child support like you) would have to care for them full time and it would ruin their new, happy little family.
Well said, what a compassionate lady you truly are. Women feeling empathy for other women, just what we need in the world.
😂 I don't even know what to say to that.
If you receive partnered FTB, how about a card for you lovey?
This is hilarious 😂
I receive benefits, I can't even tell you the last time I had a hair cut, let alone going out to the salon every week to get my nails done.
What a fucking insult!
Every dollar of my FTB goes to rent, that includes rent assistance that people seem to think is hundreds of dollars (let me tell you, it doesn't even scratch the surface).
After that, I'm left with $400 to buy groceries for the fortnight, pay utilities (phone bill, internet, electricity) and transport!
I somehow have to get the kids new clothes and school supplies and xmas and birthday gifts and whatever else they might need...
How people choose to spend their child support is none of your damn business and most mums will go without their own bare necessities to ensure their kids don't have to!
I thought it was white wealthy middle aged politicians perpetuating the myths of single mums to turn society against them in order to gain support when creating policies that make life even harder for us, but no, there are mums that feel this way too. So disappointing, the way we treat our most vulnerable in the community is the true judge of a society.
Because running a home big enough for an adult and children by yourself is easy apparently.
I think these people need to stop and really think through what they would do if they split up. where they would live and how they would get by and how much they think their ex should contribute. I know if I moved on and made a bundle I wouldn't be able to set it up as rich parent poor parent to my kids. Especially if I lived with other people's kids.
I remember the last time I had a haircut! It was super special. I was standing in front of the mirror, scissors in hand, trimming my own split ends 😂 same as the last 20 times before that, shame I spent all my parenting payment and child support on rent, food and petrol when I could have just gone to the hairdresser. Silly me!
It’s so disheartening when women, mothers at that, have no idea of the struggle we endure. This comment really triggered me. We work so hard to give the best to our kids after marriage breakdown and to read this, I have no words. Makes me so sad that there are women like this out there but I also feel empowered, reading the comments of fellow single mums. We’re doing our best, day in day out, fronting up to work when our world is crumbling, just knowi g there are others that understand, makes it a bit easier. Just cuts for me twice a year and home hair dyes, when I’m feeling particularly ostentatious, I buy the revlon brand 😂
I so agree with your comment! Maybe as I’m a younger Mum and a majority of people I see online or encounter are also young mum’s - single mums with eyelash extensions, nails, hair constantly dyed (in salon), buying clothes. I don’t understand how the eff they get by with rent and groceries because I work full time and can’t afford those luxuries ever (though I get no Centrelink).
It's not your place to judge someones financial situation, but there's no way you can do that from seeing their nails or hair anyway. Why does a single mum have to be doing so badly you can't bare they get their nails done? It's petty. especially when your partner pays child support for his child so you think that entitles you to an opinion on her choices.
To the “young mum”who feels the need to judge other single mums, are their kids starving or going without because they have eye lash extensions?
Well seeing as I’ve had to take them out for a meal numerous times seeing as they can’t put food on the table, then yes I can confidently say they are starving (or would be without the generosity of people like myself). And I’ve had to donate clothes numerous times because they can’t “afford” to even op shop.
So you have a couple of selfish narcissistic friends and even though you yourself, a single mum, are not like them, you will happily perpetrate the idea on a public forum and agree that all single mums should have a card for child support to restrict their expenditure. So all single mums in your opinion need to be monitored in order to do the right thing? There are rich people, poor people, mid income earners who are good and bad with money, why should single mums have a card? Why not suggest anyone receiving any form of welfare have a card?
I think absolutely everyone receiving any form of welfare should have a card. I never said I didn’t :) I wasn’t the first one suggesting I was saying I agree without it.
You’ve used the words a couple, however it is well more than 2 that I know doing this.
I give up! The next time someone judges you and makes assumptions about you as a single mum, agree with them, because their prejudices are yours. Own it. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
Sweet Lord. I, as a single parent of 4, can’t wait to get home from work to read these comments & respond to you if still necessary.
I think you’ve possibly watched too many American tv shows...
If these people you know aren’t feeding their kids CALL DCP!! FFS. You’re witnessing what seems to be neglect, and you’re spending time on an online forum complaining about it. If these children are actually not being provided the necessities of life it’s YOUR responsibility to report it!
Sorry you sound like a rich snob. From your comments you should be able to afford an ice cream. I'm not sure how much he was earning in the first place but at an extra 30k with you working aswell that would likely add up to quite a bit. Are you living in an expensive area? Like some places in Sydney are way too expensive for even people well off. Maybe you should look at your budget and find out where the rest of the money is going. If you are still struggling with extra how were you surviving before? Often when people earn more they spend more still going pay check to pay check
My ex hubby gets paid cash in the hand so he only has to pay me $7.00 per week, what a joke! For 3 kids 😱
I paid child support to my ex and to me I wasn't paying enough I asked can how do I pay more. I got laughed at and told it doesn't work that way. I think I was paying something like $34 a week for 2 kids. Luckily my ex and I are amicable we agreed to scrap CSA and have our own agreement in place.
yeah I agree with you, centrelink considers him responsible and cuts any assistance the second you live together but child support don't they only include biological kids. Which is weird they either are or they aren't responsible. We are struggling to pay the child support required. We pay the max as the mother is listed as 100% and we have him every weekend ( Dad is to scared she will stop him staying if he tells childsupport) and the kid expects stuff, he is an only child in his house and I think treated like an adult, in our house he is 1 of 3 kids we just can't afford to do things the same way. But it is what it is, I explain it to my kids as ' he doesn't get to see daddy all the time, you guys do' - when they notice the injustices
Taking on someone else’s child is a choice, it in no way voids his responsibility to his existing children. Whatever lifestyle the paying parent has, should be shared with their children. Whether or not the study / income has been earned while he lives with them or after he leaves them. When a parent works hard to get into a better financial position, that wealth is shared with their children. Unfortunately in your case, that means it spread across multiple households. You and your ex are responsible for supporting your own child, if your partner wishes to assist with that, then that’s wonderful, but it should not come out of the pocket of the children he is responsible for supporting.
It is in need of a massive overhaul. Apparently according to CSA our 7 year old child together costs $7,380 a year to raise. I have worked since our child was one and paid all expenses including medical costs (which can exceed $12,000 a year AND which are near the same medical issues his father has) and I have received $14.58 a fortnight for 6 years. He has started working and I now receive $66 a fortnight but he earns more than me by the tiniest margin. I have the child 100%, by his own choice he does not see the child regularly and makes a visit maybe 4 times a year. So when it all comes down to all expenses for our child, I am out of pocket not only what should be my half share of raising our child but also $150 per fortnight for the father’s share of raising our son and he contributes $66. Rant over!
It is the hardest, most soul crushing depressingly emotional part about being a single parent and I cannot wait for the next 13 years to be over. Whether I claim it or not, it is still apart of my daily life because it effects all payments I receive.