My partner and I have such different sex drives to the point where we are arguning about it at least once a week. He would only be happy with it twice a day, whereas I would be satisfied with twice a week.
He takes it to mean that I am not attracted to him. He is gorgeous and when we do have sex it is great, but what with working full time and having 4 kids- I'm bloody knackered by the end of the night and just want to go to bed! I also have some health problems (nothing major but it leaves me very uncomfortable and not feeling in the least in the mood!).
The other thing that compounds the issue is that if he goes more than 2 days without having sex, he is grumpy and irritable, fast forward to me getting pissed off and then not wanting to have sex with him anyway!
HELP! What can I do? "Please don't say, you need to have time alone", "get more into the mood but making yourself feel sexy" or "he should just back off and understand", we have tried all these things, to no avail.
6 Replies
All I can say is you're no alone!
Twice a week even makes me need a lie down!
Yep your are not alone!. Males seems to have more drive than us.. Yes I understand working is hard for them sometimes too, and they get buggered...but come on! I am sure they don't deal with the kids and daily running of the house as much as we do!.
For a second i thought I had posted this, it all sounds to familiar - My hubby can't go longer than 2 days too - he also gets very grumpy and irritable - All i have done is "give in" lol haha I just lay there LOL haha
Life is just so busy these days :(
Hope you feel better soon.
Have you tried supplements to help boost your energy? It is so normal for women and men to have different sex drives especially since men and women peak at different ages but when you add everything else into the mix it just seems to make the differences even more apparent. I would suggest looking at some kind of supplement to help with your energy levels and libido. I would also suggest taking a look at your diet and maybe increasing your exercise to see if that makes a difference too. It is so important that we're not exhausted and also in the right places mentally and physically and to fix that we need to work on ourselves first.
This is my exact situation!!!
:( and it's ruining my relationship.
Can't offer any advice but your not alone!
I have only been married for 8 months and I am the same. But I only want it maybe once a month! I have PCOS and I am on the pill which I think affects it a bit but even when I wasn't on the pill, I still wasn't overly interested. We have no kids yet but I am a nanny and work 10 or so hours a day looking after three kids plus do their housework so not only does my sex life get neglected but my own housework too! I just try and remember how he feels and think to myself "he can't help being a male" lol. SO to an extent, I do it when I don't always feel like it but ONLY if he deserves it and has treated me well. If he's been lazy and moody and not making an effort to spend just a bit of time with me, then he gets nothing haha. Just as I try to understand how he feels, he should do the same if he wants anything. We often do an exchange, a long back rub for sex lol.
know Haha this could so have been written by me. Well I can offer some advice...I once really pissed the hhubby off when I said I enjoy sleep as much as I enjoy sex. I meant in completely different ways and at the right times. So advice number 1, never say that or you'll wound him.
Also I have a crap sex drive but it is heightened when I read kinky fiction. I discovered this with 50 shades. I know it's a trashy read but reading relaxes me and reading about sex makes me think about sex. So I downloaded some e books that appealed to my sexual fantasies and would read one or two. That definitely boosted things for us.