My child has had limited involvement with their dad. She is 16 months and probably only sees him one every 6-8 weeks if that. He was violent towards me the months preceding her birth and before our break up. He will come visit then cause an argument and leave early, in our recent visits he has kicked a kitten into a wall and has also made awful comments about my daughter weight (she is on the chunkier side but by no means huge, around 13kgs.). Anyway he has now threatened court because I won’t allow overnight visits. As he has still been violent to other women and the incident with the cat, and the fact he hasn’t made consitent efforts to see her. Will he automatically get overnights? I’m willing to work with him to get there but I don’t think my daughter will cope being away from me for overnight visits and it’s stressing me out.
6 Replies
Protect both of you immediately and file for an intervention order!
No he won't automatically get over nights.
But from what I have resd you really need to get an intervention order to protect you both! And document everything. Only communicate by text message. Let him organise court. Just make sure you have a paper trail of his violent behaviour so you can prove he isn't a safe person for your daughter to be around on her own.
For your own safety, stop inviting him to the house! Meet in a public place. Im sorry your dealing with this xxxx
Thank you I don’t have any evidence of what he has done in the past so not sure if I have grounds for an intervention order. I forgot to add to the post that he has previously been in jail for dv against his ex partner and they lost their child through dhs so I’m not sure if that will also work in my favour. It is extremely stressful but I have booked an appointment with a lawyer just to know my options, hopefully they tell me what I want to here and I can stop getting so much anxiety over it xx
Your lawyer can do an application for an intervention order. Ask them about it. This is why you must contact through text only. Any nasty name calling text messages count as evidence.
It is such a terrifying thing to go through. Seek counselling through a domestic violence support service too. you need all the support you can get!!
Good luck to you. Get a counsellor or psychologist (gp is a good place go get referrals). Report his crimes to the police and make a proper statement. Go through whatever avenue they say you should take. Get witnesses wherever possible. Report him to child services for dv and dont allow him unsupervised access.
Then pray to god you don't get painted as a vindictive ex like many women do.
Thank you I have booked an appointment with a lawyer to see where I stand and I’m thinking I will go see someone anyway as I have had so much anxiety around the whole situation. I totally forgot to add this to the original post but his oldest son was taken off him as a baby and I never quite got the honest answer as to why, so it will be something I’m going to try and find out. I have already been accused of being in love with him and that’s why I want supervised access so I can still be around him lol so far from the truth he just has a big ego