far out last time I will ever post anything, some good advice but then some that makes you feel like you're unworthy. Some women do know how to make you wanna crawl back under a rock.
far out last time I will ever post anything, some good advice but then some that makes you feel like you're unworthy. Some women do know how to make you wanna crawl back under a rock.
By using this site you agree to our terms. View the Privacy Policy.
11 Replies
It might be helpful if you can shed some light on which post this was regarding, so maybe we can explain or help you understand why there was some backlash :)
However, there will always be unhelpful, hurtful and judgemental comments and you need to be thick skinned to be a part of the internet (as sad as it is). When posting on a public forum, it welcomes the likes of anyone.
I've learned that you need to take the good with the bad on this page (or any that have an anonymous response function really).
You also need to be prepared for responses that you didn't necessarily want to hear (I've been there too, it's easy to get offended) but sometimes there is helpful advice in with the brutal honesty, sometimes you need to look past the way the response is written and take from it the advice that was intended.
I think it's also very easy to misinterpret text, something can be written with the best intentions but come across wrong or harsh. You don't have the nuances (like tone or empathy) you get with physical interaction.
There are also people that don't offer anything constructive, but they'll add in a judgemental statement. It's best to just overlook these. It does no good to dwell on these comments.
I've not seen a post where someone has been attacked... Did you delete it?
I’ve found that usually when you seek out an anonymous post, it’s becUse you just “know” there will probably backlash.
At least, whenever I’ve posted, I know it’s because it’s an “unpopular opinion” or because I didn’t want my face to be on something that’s so judged...
Also, we only usually get snippets of the whole story you are telling us and I know sometimes I’ve probably made the wrong assumptions, going on what the poster has shared. But again, it’s the internet, and I hope no one would take my words or opinions too seriously, and more of a “food for thought” kind of thing.
I have seen some replies where I’ve thought they could have been worded better or said it more nicely, but this is the internet and you really don’t know who is here reading and replying.
Sorry that you’ve had a shitty experience but maybe that’s why you came here anonymously in the first place...
Felt the same way I the first time I post as well. I consistently see step mums get attacked if they dare bring up trouble with step children.
People take offence to anything. I wrote in asking if people wore black to weddings as I know it used to be a "thing" not to, 95% of people said it was ok to wear black. Despite this I still had people who acted like I had made up the rule and called me ridiculous because they had worn black to weddings and didn't know. Umm first of all it's an old rule that has been around since before my grandma's grandma was born, I didn't make it up! Secondly most people said it was ok so no need to get up me when the answers are in their favour.
Focus on the 95% who were helpful and assume the rude 5% were just having a cranky bad day. And remember we cant read tones so how someone wrote something may be read differently than the person intended xxx
I asked a while back about how to handle a situation, basically I was upset because a decent amount of alcohol was consumed by a parent at a sleepover my kid had attended and the kids were basically allowed to run wild and had very little supervision.
Some of the responses I got got were really hurtful, I had my character attacked, I was told I had no right to be upset, I was told I was a shitty friend and hardly anyone answered my actual question, which was how to approach the parent in question!
I agree you need to have a thick skin when asking for advice on a forum like this and a lot of the time it's an interpretation issue rather than deliberate rudeness.
But sometimes, the responses are straight up savage and it's awful behaviour from adults.
Just so you know, I would be super upset if my child went for a sleepover and the parents who were suppose to be supervising got plastered. Its highy inappropriate so I completely understand you being upset xx i wouldnt approach the parent but I wouldnt allow my child to sleep over there again
Thank you! I'm glad to know I'm not the only parent that's uncomfortable with it. This happened a while ago and it's all sorted now but some of the responses really made me second guess myself.
Kelly here from The Imperfect Mum team.
Please inbox the page and tell me what question, who said it and what was said. Screen shot of the message is even better as sometimes people delete what they have written before we get time to get there.
I know we can't weed out everyone (IM is a public page so 'outsiders' can comment also) but we do have the ability to ban people so that the offenders can no longer see the page, comment or name call.
Hope to see an inbox from you soon!!! xKelly