Hi guys need to run this by you as I’m unsure what to do and why it’s happened in the first place ???? My young teen daughter has had a friend since she was four . Never any issues before now ! This friends mum has messaged my daughter on insta saying stop putting my daughter down and bettering yourself in front of her if you can’t be her friend don’t go near her and your never welcome here again ! I then stepped in and said it was out of line to contact her ! She then said well my daughter has been talking of suicide and I’ve had enough and I’m telling the dance teacher ! This mum has not told the school or the dance school anything hasn’t even contacted them ???? I’ve seen her and she said sorry I shouldn’t have messsaged your daughter I was scared ! She then said I’m not sure what s happened but your daughters not to blame ? She’s than said I’m sure my daughter will msg your daughter when she’s ready ????? Now my daughter had had a mutual friend msg my daughter and say she’s with this girl and are they fighting ? They go to school together and are at the same dance school . The parent could not tell me what’s happened my daughter has sworn black and blue nothing has gone down ????
Parent messaging my daughter on instagram
Parent messaging my daughter on instagram
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Life Lessons, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Kids, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
6 Replies
I would block the parent and the daughter from your child’s social media accounts. I would be extra vigilant with monitoring your daughters accounts.
I would let the school know what is going on - not so much in that they will intervene but if this spreads to school they will be aware of what is going on and I would mention the suicide comment from the mum as the school welfare team should be made aware of this. Other than that, keep doing what you’re doing and ensure your child is ok and that your communication is good.
This is what I’d do too!
Whilst i dont agree with how the mother handled this I have to wonder if your daughter is as innocent as she said she is. Something may have been said and taken out of context but I dont think your daughter has done nothing. Maybe invite both the mother ans daughter over together to sort this out. If your daughter values this friendship she needs to let her friend know that
There's a lot of "He said, She said" going on here. I think you need to be the adult here, be proactive and get to the bottom of it via the appropriate channels.
1. Block the first friend, the other friend and the mother. Back and forth insta messages aren't going to help the situation. In fact, dealing with these types of issues by text almost always exacerbates the situation. Better to deal with it all in person.
2. You need to speak to the dance school/ regular school and see if they're aware of any issues with the girls.
3. You need to not blindly trust that your daughter is completely innocent, I'm not saying that she has done any/all of this but it would be irresponsible as a parent if you were to not look into it given that a suicidal girl has made accusations of bullying type behavior.
4. I'd arrange a meeting between the mother, the 2 girls and yourself (I'd probably do so through the school social worker or something like that so you've got a 'neutral' person to mediate). It gives both parties a chance to explain themselves, get to the bottom of it all and find a solution going forward.
Best of luck Mum, these teen years with girls can be really tricky to navigate.
The mum was concerned for her daughters safety and acted emotionally. Obviously her daughter didn't want to say what was really bothering her and just said your daughter was being mean to get her mum to back off. The mother has said she was wrong. I don't think there is anything you need to do other than support a mum that is scared for her child's well-being and help your daughter understand that her friend isn't coping and that she might need support but also may lash out.
I've been in your daughters position and I genuinely had no idea what I had done wrong!
Pretty much, went to a party with my best friend and the next day spent a whole day at her house watching movies and slept the night. The next day I hadn't heard back from my friend when I texted. Texted again the following day to no response. I knew she'd been online. Next thing, I get a message from her mum saying to leave her daughter alone and that I'm a little snake. I wrote back asking what was going on and she wrote back that I always just act so innocent when in reality I'm a little bitch and the friendship won't ever be repaired and they won't forgive what I had done.
I then received horrible messages from the mum over facebook for the following year until she eventually left me alone.
Sooo anyways, long story short, we stopped being friends. She added me on facebook about a year ago and I questioned her what went on all those years ago and low and behold... a boy she liked said I looked hot at the party and said he'd prefer to date me than her (apparently they'd kissed that night)!!!!! I couldn't believe it.
Some parents are just idiots.