Hi sisters,
I don't know if I just need a rant or advice or what y'all can offer me but here goes...
So I'm 30 years old, I have two children, My 5 year old is currently running through the rings of testing for ADHD, Tourettes and ODD so he can be quite difficult to deal with. I have had depression and anxiety all my life. I work 4 days a week and i dropped out of my cert III last year after losing interest in it.
I feel like I'm only giving 20% in all areas of my life, 20% effort at work, 20% effort at home (like I just do dishes and laundry for the week without actual cleaning, which is so stressful for me to NOT do it) 20% of parenting. I feel like I dont do enough with my kids, i have sleep apnea so I struggle to fall asleep at night and then struggle harder to get up in mornings so they're always late for school, then after school I let xbox babysit them. My youngest needs help with his reading and writing as he's behind but i work evenings so I can't help him a lot of the time. I'm constantly exhausted, I wake up tired and usually nap during the day, which means housework doesn't get done (and lately my motivation is totally lacking) im overweight but do nothing to help myself as i dont have time or cant be bothered. I am on anti-deps and tried counselling (counselling didnt help) i want to try university someday but have no confidence ill be committed to it. Keep changing my mind on what i wanna study. I'm sorry, I don't even know what I'm asking for. I just feel like I'm failing at every aspect of my life, I am totally insecure at work, I'm ridiculous in the sense that I only want to work 23-25 hours a week but if a new employee is given more hours than me, I think its because I'm terrible at my job and then pester my boss to see if im doing okay or if i need improvement (she says I'm doing fine).
So I work part time hours, both kids are in school, I don't do housework but im constantly exhausted? And then I beat myself up for not doing better.
Ugh! Why am I like this 😣
Thanks for listening guys x
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2 Replies
If u haven't already got treatment for the sleep apnoea i'd suggest starting on cpap or seeing a sleep physician to see what u need, that alone will make u feel like shit, depressed and not good on the rest of ur body! Once u start getting good sleep things should become easier!
You're adhd too. See a psychiatrist that specialises in it. The condition is genetic and you literally gave textbook adult adhd in women. Ps. I am too. Life is easier after diagnosis xx