Hi IMs. I am just venting. I was at a playcenter over the weekend. I was watching my three year old son coming down a slide. He tried to pass a little girl no older than two. He ended up pushing her to the side. Just when I was going to correct my son I witnessed a man, grab my son by the arm and push him. I was stunned that a stranger could do this. I confronted the man. Told him it’s not on to man handle small children like that. He then accused me of not controlling my son and that he was justified in his action because my son had punched his child. I called him out as a liar and told him I saw the whole thing pan out. What gets me is this behaviour acceptable. Not one other person seemed to be fazed. In hindsight I wish I reported him. People like him should not be around other kids
17 Replies
I think you need to cop it on the chin.
I can feel it from his perspective, having your child push his would have been very frustrating to see, particularly that your son is bigger than his daughter. Unfortunately, sometimes parents have to take things into their own hands and reprimand other people's kids because the parents aren't on the scene immediately to do so.
It sounds like he has acted in the wrong way by pushing him, however are you maybe seeing it for more than it was? I.e. did he maybe push your sons hand away and tell him not to do it? The way I am reading it, he grabbed hold of your son quite roughly and then pushed him over. Is that an exaggeration on my imagination?
I guess he could go home and say kids like yours shouldn't be at a playcentre if they're going to bully other kids.
Sorry if I am totally wrong, but I am writing this as a parent whose kid has been pushed over numerous times (and I have felt the urge to behave in the same manner this man did, though I have not).
I didn’t read to much in to it. I also don’t believe my son was vicious. I was only a few meters away. I would have been closer but I had to keep eye on his twin brother too. This man was rough with my son and my son was a few feet away from his daughter so wasn’t a threat after he had pushed her. This man had walked to my son and grabbed him. I understand it’s frustrating having your kid pushed or bullied by other kids. It’s happened to my own kids. But when it happens I always remove my child from situation not interact with other child.
Yep. Report to management. You cant touch someone elses child.
Nope not on! 4 kids and they've all had their fair shares of being the pusher or the pushed and I would never in a million years think it was OK for me to touch someone elses child or for someone to touch mine like that. A few stern words is acceptable as long as it's in a grown up way! Report it to the management.
If his kid was sitting on the slide and not moving out of the way so other children can also use the equipment and your son pushed past his child so he could continue down the slide I'd definitely be reporting it. That's not on. Did your son hurt the little girl. I take it you weren't far from the scene. Possibly you could have been closer but I don't sit by my children's sides either whilst they're having fun. I am usually helicoptering around though. My middle child has autism so I'm always reminding him to play nicely and making sure he's not hurting anyone by accident. That dad should be embarrassed about his behaviour and by trying to justify his reaction he was probably a jerk anyway. Next time yell and make a scene don't be polite about it either. Get the dick banned. If it was me I'd be
"Hey, don't touch my kid, what are you some kind of perve, who the hell pushes a 3 year old in a kids area, how about you teach your kid to get off the slide so other people can go down"
Then say to your kid.
"That man should not have pushed you, he's a bad bad man! You were just trying to get past his kid who was hogging the slide" make yourself heard so he gets evils from all the other parents.
Make him feel really bad, and yep I'm serious. I'll tell someone's kid that pushing is not ok and not to push my child, but you never ever get physical with someone else's kid ever!! I don't care what type of day you've had but if you intentionally hurt my child and take it out on them. I will embarrass you and make you look like a jerk!
Yes. This! I tell my autistic sons all the time about the loud talking thing, when kids at school are doing annoying things to them. It’s what the neurotypicals do!
Did your son hurt his child? Did he hurt your son? If not, I'd leave it.
No one was hurt, just me seeing red that a person behaved like this when he thought he wasn’t being watched. My husband says to leave it alone and never take our kids to these places again.
From your description, was his behavior okay? Of course not...
Is there anything you can do about it now? Not really!
Unfortunately, we'll all encounter dickish people from time to time. Try not not to dwell on it and maybe consider better ways to deal with people like this in future - I mean, having a confrontation with him achieved nothing did it?
In the unlikely event it happens again, politely say "Please don't put your hands on my child", if it all kicks off then remove yourself and your son from the situation and report it. You're wasting your time trying to have a rational conversation with people like this, it'll only resort to a verbal slinging match. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person, even if you've done nothing wrong.
Why the fuck do we have to be ‘polite’ when a man has assaulted a child? Because we’re women? And men aren’t held to the same account as women...
This is some patriarchal bullshit!
I'd give the same advice if she was a father annoyed that another mother had shoved the kid or they were both women, don't twist my words to make this make this some gendered bullshit when it's not!
Reacting to aggression with more aggression isn't going to achieve anything, what I meant was, in future to assertively (not combatively) get her point across and if that doesn't work then remove herself from the situation and report it to the appropriate personnel!
But you're right, having a screaming match with a stranger in the middle of a play centre is a much more mature way to deal with a difficult person...
Totally agree 👍
Nope. He should never have touched your son. I have told a child off before on the playground for pushing my kids. I dont raise my voice or anything but sternly tell them thats not ok. But i would never touch someone elses child. Nor would i tolerate someone touching my children.
My little boy got pushed over by a bully. This boy wouldnt leave him alone was standing over him and grabbing him. When he pushed him over I rushed over told the kid he was naughty and not to do that again. His mother was no where to be seen. After my son calmed down he went back in to play centre and this kid went for him again. My daughter intervened. After leaving centre saw kid with mother and he went after my son again she said nothing.
From being on the other side of it you can be shocked by others behaviour. The lack of parent supervision (mum was off out of view having a coffee). I'm not condoning him pushing your child but maybe he was shocked by your childs behavior. Reporting him is going a little far. You said your piece leave it at that.
Thanks for everyone’s input, the reason why I wasn’t so close but I was in the same area is because my son is a twin and I have to position myself so I can keep an eye on both three year olds. They were playing in same area but not with each other. I can’t hover over them in the play ground.
Don’t feel you have to make excuses. I’d be bloody ropable if this happened to one of mine!
Have you approached the manager of the play centre to see if they have CCTV footage? I’d ask the local police to have a word to this bloke. Assualting a 3 year old who is doing what 3 year olds do when playing on a slide is deplorable!
Surely everyone is overreacting saying this is full blown assault.
I mean yes it wasn’t right of him to react in such a way, but what if the roles were reversed and it was a female? I’m sure in that case there’d be a lot more sympathy for both sides effected.