Just looking for peoples stories if they have been here done this.
My husband has made a mistake and has left the marriage. He has one son, I have 2 and we have a baby together. We have been together for 7years and I have been very much involved in my stepsons life from the beginning (he is 10). What part do I now play in his life? I would never stop contact between him and his sister, but just thinking about what the relationship between me and him should now be?
A little background on us. Ive helped out in his classroom, been to parent/teacher interviews, taken to doctors appointments (all of these much more than his mum) taken time off work when he's unwell . I really have been there more than either of the other parents and truly treated him like my child. I dont want to walk away, but I don't want to intrude where I'm not wanted.
Broken family. What to do about my stepson
Broken family. What to do about my stepson
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Kids
4 Replies
Still be there for him. Hes ten i dont think anyone will replace you and the family he knew.
Just be ready to gradually step back if his dad moves on but theres no reason you cant always be there for him as long as things between you and his dad are ok and its not causing problems.
Is your relationship with your ex and the boys mum reasonable? If so take on an Aunty role with him. Invite him along to birthday parties and include him in outings if he wishes to go. Good for you for wanting to keep up the relationship. My own kids ex step mother became close to them and they called her family as aunty/uncle etc, as soon as she broke up with my ex my kids got dropped like a hot potato from the whole family. It annoys me that they were insistent on making them a part of their family but obviously only as long as the relationship lasted. I don't think people really take into account the effect separation has on stepkids.
Not really talking to my ex right now (thats a while other issue there) but my relationship with my stepsons mum is ok. We work in the same shopping centre so see each other most days. We all used to go to parent teacher interviews at school together. All the communication about stepson goes between me and her
My husbands brother is in a similar situation.
He married a woman who had 3 children to 3 different men.. (not that, that matters) and they have a child together.
After 7 years of marriage they separated but he obviously still stuck around for all the kids.
Just recently he was transferred to ACT from QLD for work and all four kids followed him over. But things have now turned nasty and his ex is taking him to court for custody of the youngest child, (their child together) and has not bothered with her other 3.
My heart breaks for my nieces and nephews in ACT knowing their mother is fighting for their younger sister and not them. (You would have to be an idiot if you can’t see her motivation behind this).
My brother in law is in the process of adopting the older 3 and our whole family is ecstatic for them.
He is a wonderful, selfless man and I can not wait for my nieces and nephews to officially become my nieces and nephews.
Blood isn’t everything. As long as the children are happy and safe, that is all that matters.
Just knowing they are wanted and loved will mean more to them than anything else!
Good luck xx