My ex abandoned our son for two year and suddenly he pops back in like a hero with an unaffected bond. The thing that pisses me off is the father son bond is even stronger. It wasn't very good in the past. For 4 years I did everything and he was hardly involved in parenting matters and very disconnect. Don't get me wrong I love how happy my son is but I hate how it's all so easy for dad. He and his family just swoop back in after so long with no consequences. I smile I never talk ill of dad and I try to support my son.. but it's eating me up inside. I don't know why he left or why he suddenly came back or if he will leave again and crush our sons heart. That's what I fear the most. That it's just all too easy that my sons heart it served out on a silver platter what if he gets hurt?
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Same boat here, in fact I wrote in a very similar post a few years ago about my ex and our boys, how he just swoops in and out of their lives and they never think ill of him, but I'm stuck to pick up the pieces when he goes. I had a few comments saying they will eventually see things for what they are, and the kind of raw relationship they have with their Dad is actually better than 'brainwashing' and having your kids grow up thinking one parent hates them, because that can be far more damaging. I can see where those comments come from now and I will patiently wait and continue letting their relationship take its own course, without my input. Our kids relationship with their other parent is proof that we are doing a good job our end. But still very frustrating.
You should let him know that your son will be hurt if it stops and make the contact routine.
This happened to my daughter.. father comes back after 6 years.. but it wasn't long and he pissed off again... she's now 17 and has worked him out for herself.. your son will work him out eventually hun x
Same boat too. However my situation is an 11 yr old puberty ridden girl and her father who only speaks to her when she initiates contact... and then its usually hours later whens she's already asleep. No advice on how to make the nasty feelings go away... was hoping for someone else to have shared some though.