Ok so this is super hard for me to write, and to be honest I'm not sure what I'm asking. My child was sexually abused by another student at school. They are quite young, too young to understand the actions I believe, so I am of course concerned for the other child's wellbeing as well. I have gone to the police, straight away, and have not yet informed the school nor approached the parents of the other child. I have also not sent my daughter to school since finding out, and I won't be.
Child protection will be going to the school and speaking with the child and I sincerely hope it's a case of seeing something accidentally rather than abuse of the offending child themselves. I don't know what to do now. Counselling of course is being sought, but I am concerned about the backlash of this other family, particularly if there is nothing at all sinister going on. Our names will obviously be divulged. We live in a small rural town. There is another school nearby, so I think swapping schools may be a good idea.
Do I wait for the police to approach the school before I advise what has happened? How do I handle any possible backlash? I know I have done the right thing, my daughter deserves to be safe and I will do all that I can to protect her. I'm in pieces that she wasn't protected in an environment she should be safe! I don't know what to do now. I think I am also feeling guilt, my job is protect her and I have let her down.
7 Replies
So i am involved in a fair amount of this being a victim of dv.
You have done the absolute right thing. You have not only removed your child from that situation but you are having it investigated and its sadly really common child sexual abuse still and still swept under the rug because people dont like getting involved suprisingly. So you reporting this is a reallly good thing. You dont need to do anymore the police will be right onto that and they will have a duty of care to let the school know and invesigate.
Google bravehearts and ask them for some support and help and if they can help find someone to support your child in your area. Explain the situation to them.
I’m sorry to hear you’ve been a victim of DV, but I really appreciate your reply. I will certainly have a look at Bravehearts, thank you.
You've done a great job of protecting her. I would speak to the school about putting measured in place and consider returning her. As you say it was one incident and the offending child is very young, Then the school should take it on them to also protect her and be extra vigilant with him.
I think worry about the family may be stress induced, as you really shouldn't expect anything except an apology from them.
I should also mention that there was another incident at the school where my daughter was physically attacked by a much older figure. The school was very quick to brush it under the rug and silence us. So this is the second time her safety has been compromised at said school, so we are definitely pulling her. I think you’re right about the stress, I don’t know why I feel guilty but somehow I do.
If this is the second occurrence where your child has been in harms way, I'd be pulling her out like yesterday and moving her. Keep her home for now if you can.
Well done on taking this matter so seriously. I'd contact the school and let them know that something went on and that police have been contacted just so they're prepared, but don't release the other student's name.
Iam very sorry your dauggter has gone through this. Its not the nicest to experience.
As an adult victim of sexual assault you have absolutely done the right thing. Be guided by the police and let them investigate. Seek councelling for both your daughter and yourself. As they are both minors names should be withheld, however if they arent and backlash does start to occur keep your head high, ignore them but document everything. You have done nothing wrong by reporting this it may just prevent another innocent child from experiencing it or could also expose that this child is in actual fact being abused. Please remain strong.
I would advise the principal that your child is taking a leave of absence, present a medical certificate from psychologist if required, and let them know that you have reported the incident to the police, remind them of your privacy and that your child’s name is not to be mentioned.
Then take the time for you and your family to heal before rushing into a new school. Sounds like it’s not the first trauma at school for her. This school let her down. You are protecting her. Fresh start for all I say! But only when you’re ready