I'm at a loss. I can't cope with my 4 year old anymore!! Her temper and abymorettitude is horrible. I try and do a majority of the things she wants to do but sometimes I run out of time. I didn't clean the house for a whole week. I did the basics of washing, cooking and dishes, spent the rest of the time with her and it still wasn't good enough. She has gone backwards with going to the toilet because a kid at kinder does it (that's her excuse). I explain that it isn't right and sit her on the toilet. I also started sitting her on the toilet every hour in hope it would help. She doesn't sleep in her own bed, just to get her to bed is an hour plus and then she just cries and makes all different excuses as to why she won't sleep.... any suggestions would be greatly appreciated
6 Replies
Some kids really respond to a routine. At her age a simple visual one would work.
One for the routine for the day.give her some choices. Also add in the morning and bedtime routine and also cleaning and quiet time. Then make different ones for morning and bedtime routine and cleaning.
Once she can do this (praise amd rewards every step) then you have that time free for you to clean or do what you need to.
Also, she knows that her choices dont happen until she completes the daily tasks.
Thank you for this suggestion, I will work on these and see how we go
You need to take back the control and stop letting her set the agenda.
Playing with kids is great, but we can't play all day. So what if she whinges etc, that's what they do, it's our job to ignore it!
Get her involved in housework. If you help me with this, then we can play what you want next. Boredom is good for kids, they are going to whinge about it, but that's ok it won't hurt them. It actually helps them when they are adults to have coped with a boredom as a child.
Kids go through these revolting phases and you just have to work through them until you come out the other side..
She isn't the boss, but it certainly sounds like she rules the roost! Stop giving in to her every whim. Its ok for kids to play by themselves or be bored! Not cleaning for a week because you've spent the whole week doing what she wants is letting her be the boss! If shes bored, tell her she can help with your jobs but sternly say ypunare doing those jobs now. The lady above who mentioned the visual routine, thats a great idea!
I have had it all since birth. I'm losing my mind and sometimes it is easier just to give in for 5 minutes peace. I know it's wrong and it doesn't happen all the time. Her father is the worst for giving in and not following routine
You have to teach your child that she has responsibilities like you do. You have jobs to do etc and she will need to show patience & kindness as that is what she will receive in return. You will need to discuss with her the changes that are going to be undertaken- with hubby on board too! If you can't set boundaries now and her behaviour is like this at 4 imagine it at 13! 😳 Clear, firm, & kind? Don't back down even for a minute of silence as you are teaching her that whingeing gets her what she wants! It's ok to let her be upset with you because she doesn't get what she wants when she wants. Seek assistance from various parenting programs like Triple P if you want some support before you start....don't leave it too long as she has already learnt that she can manipulate you and your time by making poor choices! Best wishes...parenting can be a tuff gig but u can be tougher!