I want to have a very random rant and see if there are others who agree with me.
Firstly I am not a parent, so lets get that out of the way, I am a generation Y undertaking internet communication studies though.
My issue is this, Parents who “brag” about the punishments they give their children on social media. We have all seen them, they take photos of their 5 year old son with a sign on him saying I am a thief because he nicked (or tried to) a lolly from the local store. And then it becomes trying to ‘one up’ on the creativity of punishments. I just saw a radio station posted a comment on this with a girl (face blurred to their small credit) of a mother who made her daughter dress like a frumpy 80’s nanna at school for two days to teach her a lesson about teasing/bullying another girl about the way she dresses. Then there is a barrage of people proclaiming how great a parent this woman is for not only bullying and humiliating her own daughter in the public space of her school but continuing the humiliation forever in the world of cyberspace.
No one stops to think what if the girl is feeling awkward about her own appearance, and this lack of self esteem is why she lashed out at another girl. Or that this woman is hurting the reputation of the person she claims to love most and for what, a pat on the back from strangers who’s opinions should not matter anyway. If someone came online and said my kid was naughty and I smacked them all hell would break loose yet attacking your children from a psychological level is considered great play on the parenting front. Smacking apparently causes violent adults, so by that logic this sort of manipulative and underhanded punishment will create manipulative and underhanded adults.
I guess what I am trying to say is that as parents you should stop publicising the bad things your children do and instead start publicising the good things. And try to remember the internet is FOREVER, before you post anything of your children think about how long you would want that hanging around if it was about you.
4 Replies
Firstly I agree with the sentiment. I also don't think that many parents do what your saying. Well none on my friends list anyway. The problem with those kinds of posts is they do tend to go viral so I'm likely to see a one every now and then, but they don't involve anyone I know. Perhaps there is some research regarding prevalence of this kind of post?
I totally disagree with you. And who are you to judge these mother's? Its their choice how they want to punish their children. Whether it is public or not. I remember stealing from another student at school, my mum made me go infront of other students, teachers, parents and the principal and apologize. Sure it was embarrassing but you know what I learnt from that and never stole again.
I really liked you'd piece until I read 'stop publicising the bad things and start publicising the good'
Firstly - not everyone who shames there child over social media only focus on the negative things there child does. Everyone who uses theses options to publicise there children posts positive photos/comments also.
Secondly - I would be more incline to ask the question should people being putting there children on social media at all ? Is it fair there precious innocent lives are made public ? Is it fair images of smiles and/or tears be shared among friends family and strangers at all ?
I'm a mother of 3, I've had a lot of stuff happen. I remember looking at the photos that were published in an article about this with toddlers and babies saying things like "I put my hand in my nappy and smeared poo on the walls" (along those lines anyway), all i have to say to that is - welcome to parenting 101 please take a seat. To me there is a certain line that shouldn't be crossed when humiliating your children whether it be smacking or humiliating, both have a limit. Yes I am happy to share the shit times with my kids and be real about it, I don't sugar coat it, it's hard and we are all trying to find a balance and the best way to do it. I'm not trying to judge anyone but personally I would never ever do that to my kids, I how ever would have no problem, if my child stole something, to take them back into the store to not only return it but admit their mistake and appoligise. We all have our own different way, we are never right with it there will always be someone who disagree, there are lines with everything though and it's up to each induvisual to judge that. I do completely agree with you that this COULD be damaging, but remember not to judge until you have walked a mile in their shoes, the parents who are doing this might have 1000 positive things about their children and 1 negative but negative always sells better than positive in the world now so that's all you ever see.