My toddler is so intense and I'm losing my mind!
She will be 2 next month, and she's my third child so I thought I knew the ropes by now - but nope, I was wrong!
She clings to me NON stop. All day, every day, she sits on my hip and clings while I try to do whatever I need to do in tending to my other kids or getting housework done. I usually babywear, but she absolutely refuses to go anywhere near the carrier and I'm ready to run away and join the circus! She screams and cries and has tantrums if I try to put her down at all, and will grip even tighter to me. She comes with me everywhere - shower, toilet, bed - you name it, she HAS to be in constant contact with me 24/7 or else she loses her mind and screams the house down. She's just soooooo intense! I have weathered general clinginess before, but this just seems to be on a whole new level. She just sits on my hip and kicks and pulls me all day, trying to 'steer' where I go and has tantrums if I do what I need to do instead of entertaining her interest. She's generally a very bright spark and usually happy - IF she has been clinging to me for at least 90% of the day.
I feel like I'm being held hostage by her and it's been going on for about 4-5 months now, so telling myself that it's just a phase is getting harder and harder to believe. I have a 4.5 year old on the spectrum, and he is easier to deal with on a daily basis than my toddler!!!
Please help... can anyone tell me if this is a very long phase? Is it a girl thing? Or could the clinginess be a hint of something bigger going on under the surface?
My sanity thanks you!
5 Replies
It's definitely not a girl thing as I only have girls and none of them act like this and neither do my friends who have girls.
I am hoping for your sake it's a phase but I'm also thinking it could possibly be sensory issues as well.
This isn’t a girl thing at all.
I think it’s always worth seeking professional help. If it was a phase or a developmental thing she would have come out the other side by now.
There is never any harm done by seeking professional advice from peadiatrician etc. Waiting though can make life harder than it needs to be.
It is a phase, but gee it sounds excessive. Have you tried setting rules, like saying don't do that or I will out you down and follow through, so if she wants to be up she's in the carrier and not hitting or pulling you at least.
I think she would be old enough to understand that. I would also start just refusing. Put her down for two minutes and then come back and say we can do this together BUT you need to sit here next to me, not on me.
Have you tried making a "snuggly" out of something that smells like you like a nighty or something? Then you could give her that for comfort while you go to the toilet etc
I don't know if it's considered normal but my son was the same. He has been like that his whole life and I think that'd just how he is. He just needs more security from mummy than other kids. He is 5 now and very secure in himself but still likes to know I'm there. I personally wasn't worried about it but I understand the frustration. Maybe try sitting to do what she wants then slowly start distancing yourself once she is playing with the activity. Stay close to start with so she isn't scared then move away. For example if you need to do the dishes set up a towel and a small bowl of bubbly water and toys on the floor next to you and sit with her and play for a couple of minutes then get up and do the dishes once she is enjoying it. I know it doesn't seem like it but she won't be like this forever I promise.