I’m writing in because I’m curious to know if how I’m feeling is normal or if I should expect a big surge of emotions at some point.
My marriage was just under 4years and we had been going through tough times the last 8months, he said he was depressed but flirting with girls at work but coming home all sad and crying. If he wasn’t crying or sad, he was yelling and blaming me for everything that wasn’t going right in his life. He didn’t drive, so I drove him around everywhere and to work and back each day, we got him his learners and I taught him to drive, which ended up him telling me I was to critical and not listening when I gave directions. He also nearly took us over a cliff because he didn’t see a sign and told me it’s cause he was to tall to see it. It got to the point where we weren’t communicating and hardly having sex because he didn’t feel like it. I asked for marriage counselling and he said no because he didn’t think we had any problems. The day he got his license, he imformed me he was moving out and he did within two hours of getting home and to be honest I wasn’t sad and I haven’t been sad yet, I celebrated knowing I didn’t have to put up with his crap anymore. It’s like a huge relief to my life and I can finally do things I want to do. I’m just wondering is this normal, should I expect to get sad or grieve the marriage ending? It only happened like 3weeks ago but I feel like I’ve been checked out for a few months. Do you have any tips on how to get to know yourself again, love yourself? Any tips would be greatly appreciated :)
Is it normal to not be upset when your marriage ends?
Is it normal to not be upset when your marriage ends?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care
7 Replies
You must have been sooooo tired dealing with that. It's probably a relief, your body is probably literally just crashing like it's just finished a marathon. Give yourself some time, then slowly start moving forward, baby steps, hobbies, friends, dreams, social groups, career, it all takes time.
I think it depends on the circumstances. If your hubby had been my boyfriend I would have dumped his arse. I think feeling relieved to get rid of a dead weight under the circumstances is a healthy reaction.,
What an absolute child your feeling relieved because he is an absolute joke of a husband do not ever go back an he Wil come back crying they all do roll on and tell him to get his Learners in relationships as he will need them no doubt what a mess of a human good on you .. roll with and feel nothing ! It's called getting over shit fast they way some of us fail to do
You feel how you feel. Honestly, it may change and you may start feeling hurt, angry or upset later down the track but it is part of the grief - it comes in stages. I personally grieved the end of my marriage the last 2 Years that I was in it and I felt nothing but relief when i left the marital home. I had bad days (many bad days) when I felt it would be easier or comfortable to go back but deep down I knew too much damage was done and that I had to be the one to create a better, more healthy and safe life for myself. I want to say it took a year or so before I really had full clarity on the situation and just how much it had taken a toll on me. There is no “normal” when it comes to divorce/separation and I have learned that how much you grieve or don’t grieve is not a reflection of how much you loved them or wanted it to work. If you feel peace now be thankful and carry on moving forward :-)
Sometimes when a relationship has been in a bad way for so long, the end of that relationship does come as a relief, in all honesty I think that's the healthiest emotion you could feel at this point, it clears your path to move on.
Be kind to your self and just enjoy life, the hardest part is over with 😊
You've already grieved the relationship. It just hadn't ended at that stage.
Go out and enjoy yourself 🍾
I left my husband 6 years ago. The only grief I felt was for what the marriage should’ve been & the father my kids should’ve had. Nothing more.