I don't want to come off sounding judgemental, so I apologize ahead of time if I seem like I am at any stage. Every parent says their kids are good well I can honestly say my little girl is one of the sweetest kids you could come across she would prefer to play with small children rather than kids her own age just because they aren't nasty, her own her words, not mine. My daughter is continuously invited over to play the neighbors with younger children because she's the babysitter everyone wants. Making up games keeping the kids entertained and not fighting I'm proud of her!
I raise all my children to think for themselves not to be followers and if someone is doing wrong don't join in. It doesn't make them popular in fact quite the opposite, my youngest well it breaks my heart what she has been through? But more than anything else I have become extremely wary my eyes now opened to the viciousness of what children are capable off. The Sad thing is so has my daughter at the age off ten she has been hit and kicked by five other little girls while being held.
They were fourth class kids all because one child said to do it they did. It makes me sick to the stomach and fearful of what these children could be capable of when older. More troubling is the fact a couple of these little girls still won't own their wrongdoing and see nothing wrong with their behavior. Then there is the fact that a safe place she played in is no longer that at all.
At school disgusting things that were said to her while playing a game called interview, that involved a bath, porn a pregnancy test also a teacher.
Those four little girls are in fifth class caved into peer group pressure as well, then spread nasty rumors after that incident to cover up what they had done. So they could attempt to appear blameless, these incidents have been dealt with, but the thing I keep coming back to.
Where do children learn things like this at such a young age?
Why do they feel it's perfectly fine to behave this way?
And what I would like to ask are parents even aware that they should be discussing the topic of peer presure with there children when they start School in kindly. Because one thing I've learned raising my tribe is bullying and peer group pressure go hand in hand. It is something we all have grown up with and I'm a firm believer education begins at home
3 Replies
I think its important to help our children learn to survive as despite bad things happening, lots of good things come from peer friendships, and if shes scared of peers or believes theyre bad and slots into a babysitter role and hangs with babies instead, its not benefitting her. Friendships with peers is tough, none of us want our kids hearts to be broken especially tbe kind sensitive kids, but we need to help them through and teach them the resilience, that they can do it, can deal with the bad and can get the rewards of the good.
Where do they learn it?
Older siblings or cousins, other kids at school the internet... I could go on and on really.
I honestly think we are ALL look at our kids with rose colored glasses so to speak but some people are just stupidly ignorant when it comes to their children!
Why do they think this behavior is ok?
I don't think they do, at least on some level they don't anyway. I think deep down they know it's wrong but they don't have the capacity to take responsibility for their wrong doings. (They wouldn't go to such an effort to cover up their actions if they truly felt their actions were ok!)
Honestly, that's a skill some people don't have until adulthood (some people never develop that skill).
I remember doing awful things as a teenager. At the time I had some form of justification for it but now looking back as an adult I think 'That was a fucking terrible thing to do'. Sometimes it takes a long time to feel that remorse, and not to condone this type of behavior in the slightest but kids muck up now and again, some kids may not have the same positive upbringing or moral code that most parents would strive for either, so that's a factor too.
Peer pressure is definitely a problem and I think more so in girls, though that's just my experience.
Your daughter has had a rough time but her experiences go further than typical peer pressure. She's been assaulted and bullied at school, that's terrible and never ok! It's little wonder she'd rather play with the younger kids (she sounds like a good role model to them too - who knows she may go into education or child care as an adult?).
I really hope she can start relating to kids closer to her age, especially heading into those teen years, those years can be a bit lonely and isolating anyway.
Maybe look into some outside school activities to get her engaging with her peers (maybe guides or scouts or sports. Art or drama classes etc). I assure you, not all kids are like this. By shutting her self off, she's potentially missing out on beautiful friendships.
I hope she sees some improvements real soon!
Kids learn from their parents they also pick it up from other kids all kids have their moments but the porn and stuff well that leaves a lot to be desired and I believe follow from example (parents) others are just down right nasty butter doesn't melt in their mouth type of children and can get away with being the nastiest little shits around and nothing will be done about it. Pack mentality starts young and follows all the way through to adult hood just stand behind your morals and beliefs and how you bring up your child