I don't want to sound shallow but i belive in being fair and if you buy a present for one person you should for the other person. My mum bought my brothers girlfriend a birthday present weeks in advance for her birthday and made a big song and dance about it. She asked me what my husband would like i gave her some ideas and birthday comes and goes. About 3 weeks later i asked what she ended up getting him so i dont get it for him for christmas and she said she kept on forgetting to get it and now its too late. I just said ok because i am not someone who says anything or tries to argue anything but it has been annoying me greatly that my brothers girlfriend of 3 years gets thought and effort put in but my husband who I've been with for 15 years gets shrugged off as not important. I haven't told him what my mum has said and he doesn't care for the presents but this will hurt him as he has always felt like the black sheep regardless of how much he helps my parents out
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It doesn't feel fair when that happens but they might not be intentionally doing it. She might be really easy to buy for? It took me ages to figure out what to buy my son for his 18th and it ended up being concert tickets 3 months after his birthday. My daughters 18th is in March next year and I organised her present in July 😂 I don't care for either any less it's just ones hard to buy for and not very materialistic, and the other is easy to buy for and excitable so it gets received well.
I’ve been with my husband for 17 years we have two kids and I can count on one hand how many times the in laws have shown any effort whatsoever towards my birthday, our kids birthdays and hell even their own sons (my husband) birthday but they NEVER miss their daughters partners birthday... the one who cheated on her and knocked up a woman he worked with when they had a new baby, but hey we shouldn’t take it personally lol
They have also done really crappy things towards our kids at Christmas in front of all their cousins who are treated better, our kids are treated like second class so we stopped having anything to do with them, and frankly we’re better off without them.
I despise the whole favourites thing, fair enough you can have a better personal connect with someone over someone else, that’s not the issue, but you can damn well act like a grown up and show your children’s partners some effort towards their birthday, a card will do! And favourites with grandchildren just goes to show what a spiteful nasty person they are!
stop doing so much for them if they don't make an effort.
It's usually the ones who are always there and helping all the time who get shitted on
stop doing so much for them if they don't make an effort.
It's usually the ones who are always there and helping all the time who get shitted on
I totally understand where your coming from, This happens to my husband and I regularly from my parents if seems like we are the black sheep of the family too.
What has really hurt me to the bone is when they do it to our children. My son turned 18 a few weeks ago and my parents couldn't even give him the time of day.
We live less then five minutes away from them. A week after his birthday his grandmother showed up at my sons workplace with a card, she lives close to his work. My son said he felt like a total idiot as his work mates had made the effort the week before for his birthday.
They regularly have their other grandchildren and feel the need to gloat about it when we do see them. One time I gave them their own medicine on my fathers birthday, and before 4pm I had received a phone call to see why we hadn't been to see him.
I don't try and hide it from my children now like I used too, I believe my parents are now the ones missing out as my children do not have the bond with them and they are the ones who are missing out.
My children are well manned treat people with love and respect and deserve to be treated the same.