I have a 5 month old baby who is the absolute light of my life. I also have a husband who works 6-7 days each week often doing overtime during the weekdays. Prior to having my baby I worked full time. I am currently on mat leave and returning to work in Feb 2018. I feel like I have everything I have ever wanted, but still feel lonely and anxious. My baby can be very unsettled when over tired. For the first 8 weeks I didnt really leave my house as I was so scared baby would cry/scream while we were out. Even now I get nervous leaving the house because baby might cry/scream. I used to be so social, and loved exploring and travelling. I wanted my baby to have that same passion for getting out and about and travelling but I feel like I cant relax if we venture out of our house. I want to go back home as soon as we leave or I rush to get things done .
How can I help myself to leave the house? I would love to catch up with friends and show off my baby, or even just an hour at the local shopping centre but I just cant do it.
Leaving the house with a baby
Leaving the house with a baby
Posted in:
Self Care, Baby & Toddler
7 Replies
Its going to be so good for you to be able to do this. So practice. Packyour bag, get your baby carrier, and start short and planned. Start close to home, even a walk aroundthe block without driving anywhere at first. A coffee at a friends house.
Honestly once youve done it a few times it wont feel so scary.
It is very good for your mental health to be able to get out a bit and not feel stuck because of the baby.
Have you tried a mother's group? Everyone's kids are running riot so it doesn't matter if Bub cries and it's great to meet other mums :)
I'd start by setting small goals and chanting things in your head.
The things I'd chant are 'all babies cry when they are out sometimes, thats perfectly normal, and nobody cares because we have all had it happen to us'.
Id start goal setting. So today I'm going out for 5 minUtes, twice a day (could just be a walk down the street). Tomorrow I'm staying out 7 minutes, twice a day. Keep increasing. Keep increasing your boundaries. Find some places to go where other mums and babies are. They will ALL have babies that are at risk of crying so they won't mind when yours does. I'd look at playgrounds, mum and baby classes etc.
If you find you aren't getting anywhere on your own, you might need to speak to your GP about postnatal anxiety.
I feel similar to this only my worry has come more so after the first year because I am embarrassed about toddler tantrums in public. I’ve just been telling myself that anybody with kids will understand and be sympathetic, and anyone who wants to judge me, has no idea what’s it’s like to be.
This used to worry me when I had my first too, I'd get so nervous that he'd cry in public. When he did cry in public I'd feel so self conscious and like people we're judging me (I was young too so I was judged purely by appearance many times).
The thing that helped me relax was just accepting that babies cry, they get tired, hungry, over stimulated (i always found the bright lights to be the cause of this) or sometimes they scream for no apparent reason lol.
At some point or another we will all be publicly humiliated by our kids and you know what? Some a-holes will judge you but it really isn't the end of the world (though it may feel like it at the time). You will be OK, your baby will be ok, one day you'll look back and be able to see the funny side.
For now just make trips short and sweet, avoid going at times you know she'll be getting fussy, get a friend or family member to come with you so you don't feel so overwhelmed, take a stroll round your block or to the park. If she does start getting fussy, just stay calm.
The more you take her out and about, the sooner you'll both get used to it. I promise you will be ok xx
Good luck 😃
I also find heading to the shops as early as possible to be helpful too, I still do this now and all my kids are all older than 6. I like to avoid the crowds, they stress me out lol.
Start with short outings maybe just you and bub
Then increase each time and if that goes well meet a friend for a cuppa and adult talk
We have a 10 week old and love going out
To meet up for cuppas and lunch
A baby will cry that's how they communicate
It's very normal
I was similar to you when I had my 2 sons
20 yrs ago I was 20 and got embarrassed when my boys were loud
I laugh now at it
I'm now 42 and cherish every moment
And yes she cry's when we r out
It's so common