Okay, I know this question is a bit odd and I do intend on speaking to a doctor but at the moment, I have no clue where to start.
I am a mum to a beautiful 3 year old. I love her to bits! Although, since having her, I no longer love myself. I went from a size 8 to a size 14 while pregnant and have snapped back to a 10. But now, my stomach is over stretched, my breasts are deflated and gross. I've tried working out to get back my stomach to flat but literally nothing works. I feel so depressed every time I look at myself because it's nothing like it used to be and I just don't feel so hot.
I am now heavily considering surgery (mostly work on my breasts but have heard of surgery to fix my stomach muscles). I have done a bit of google searching but was hoping to find out some personal stories or even advice on where to start or even advice on other methods. I know there will be pro-surgery and anti-surgery comments, I am fully prepared.
5 Replies
If it's droopy skin etc no amount of exercise or dieting will change that. Wether you go through surgery or not is entirely up to you but it's important to know that LOADS of women experience this body change after having babies. There is nothing abnormal about it.
Before surgery please do some research on body positivity. Surgery doesn't come without risks and you will never look the same as you did (scars etc). I'm not against surgery I just know people who've had the surgery and still feel terrible about themselves.
Before considering surgery you need to think about if you want more kids. You will most likely need more surgery after another baby.
Start with your GP as they can help with funding a surgeon in your area that's reputable etc.
Babe, you're more then just your body. You're so much MORE then the way you look in the mirror. If you think surgery will make you feel better, go for it, but you also need to know that you're never going to have the exact same body you did before you became a mum, because you actually made a human. That body of yours, that you hate so much, it compiled billions of cells together and made your daughter, that's pretty bloody clever but it also comes with a heap of cons such as you're seeing now.
I think you need to learn to love yourself some more. We are all our own worst enemy sometimes and worst critics of ourselves so learn to more gentle on yourself. Definitely start off talking with your Dr and maybe have a few more appointments about surgery, then you can get more of an idea on what's going to suit you.
*hugs!
I get you! I've been there... I'm mum to a 16 month old baby girl. It is definitely a big adjustment and some days you feel like you've lost control of your sense of self... for me, I've been doing my best to keep a disciplined mindset. I do something everyday to try and keep my sanity and sense of self in check. Most days it is going out for a run while my partner spends some QT with his daughter, or I'll take her out with me and go for jogs while she's in her stroller.
Surgery can help, and if you really want it then go for it, but its also about your mindset too. Hope this helps. We've got to ensure we are happy and healthy mums so our babies can see the best version of us too!
I completely understand how you feel, so much so that I had a Tummy Tuck and Breast Reduction with a lift 2.5 years ago. OMG!! Hand down, THE BEST THING I EVER DID FOR MYSELF. I had 2 children and just needed my body back.
I went from a gross tummy and breasts and being too ashamed to let my partner see them, to absolutely loving my new body!
My only piece of advice is this. If you aren't done having children, WAIT! I was 100% done having children, 2 was enough for me, or so I thought. I now have an 8 week old bub. While my tummy tuck isn't ruined, and my bump while pregnant was TINY, I am struggling majorly to breastfeed due to the milk ducts being cut. Had I of known another child was in my future, I would have held off.
Maybe you could put on a bit of weight and puff it back out a bit with some curves! Being skinny with extra skin is maybe not as good as a bit curvier. I noticed you said you were a size 14 while pregnant. Did you mean that, or just after having the baby? Cause if you mean you were you were size 14 with the bump that sounds like you have some really strong beliefs about your size and weight that aren't healthy. Normally you would just say you were pregnant. But maybe you mean after, not sure. Anyway being a certain shape and size seems to matter to you a lot. Maybe you could get to the bottom of that and work on your self worth so it's not all about your outside but you feel good about who you are as a unique and special person, totally lovable! It's only going to all head south with age! Lol. Why not feel happy anyway?