Hi. I am currently 10 weeks pregnant and due to my circumstances decided to tell my boss early. During our conversation he suggested I also tell the manager of a group we work closely with (I do not report to this person). I said no. I explained to him the "danger zone" of being less than 12 weeks pregnant. I explained the upcoming NT scans and potential difficulties I had in my near future if the news was not good. I therefore specifically requested he not tell that other manager, or anyone else, until I am ready. I am acutely aware of how fast news spreads in this workplace so i am being extra wary. I named the other manager BY NAME. There was no misunderstanding as to who I meant.
4 days passed and this other manager just congratulated me and informed me exactly who told him. My boss. He said I was being discussed because I've seemed less happy lately. Apparently my boss felt the need to share my news as explanation for my change in mood. Not only is that not the cause of my change in mood (work is the reason), I feel he still had no right, even with what may have been his best intentions.
I am absolutely floored and feel betrayed and angry. If the scans reveal my baby can't support life then this is yet another person I'll have to tell. It should be private until i decide otherwise, right? I have no idea if I am being "moody" and overreacting. What do you think?
4 Replies
Yes its information youve told him in confidence as an employee he has no right to share it. I would believe theres a privacy breach you could take it to hr or seek advice outside the company first if you want to take it further.
I agree with the answer above, it a breached confidentially. Speak with HR, I would not directly speak with your boss until you have had a meeting with HR and if anyone else confronts you kindly say it's not their business and keep it professional until you have a meeting and and outcome from HR.
Oh god yes, he had no right! I told my boss at 8 weeks and no one else at work found out until I was 22weeks! My boss at the time was an awesome boss in every way though!
I don't think you're being unreasonable. I had a similar situation - I had to tell my immediate supervisor and then HR very quickly after discovering I was pregnant - the former due to becoming extremely mentally unstable due to having to stop antidepressants cold turkey after finding out, and HR manager by way of explanation as to why I didn't want/need to be fitted for a work uniform. Somehow it became common knowledge that I was pregnant, despite not having passed the 12 week mark, and many people came to congratulate me on my happy news. Although I never discovered who had opened their mouth, I was angered that I hadn't got to share the news on my own terms. I spoke to HR and expressed how inappropriate it was that others who did not need to know were told.
If you have a HR dept, speak to them. It was inappropriate and not necessary for your manager to share this news around.