What is the best advice and support you can give to a friend who is in a domestic violent relationship but is very much in love with her partner?
Major red flags with obessions and possessiveness/mindgames and emotional blackmail, with potential to worsen. She recognizes some behaviors to be abnormal but at this stage in the relationship she feels some of his obessions with her as endearing and as an act of love.
I would like some advice on how to still be a good friend to her without her pushing me away. Thank you in advance.
2 Replies
Unfortunately Im not sure that there is anything that you can say. I can only say keep being her friend and if she starts to get isolated tell her that when she is ready you will be there for her.
I have just been through this with my sister in law. Known her near 5 years, we all knew something was up with her partner but didn't think it was as bad as we ended up finding out. I've found when they are in those situations, there's is fear, fear to leave. Fear to disappoint. They stay because it's all they know and they don't think it's all that bad. They love a monster and do what they are told. Just because. There was nothing we could say to her to make her leave. Just support. Tell her we were there for her. If she needed somewhere to stay. Money. Any thing.
She left on her own terms. She snapped one day and said enough is enough. Left at 1am and went to police. Worst case they have ever heard. So much abuse. And kids involved. She's been away from him over a month and the change is incredible.
You need to try speak to your friend in person, away from anyone and offer support. Tell her to leave in secret and find somewhere safe to go. Get the help she needs from certain services. And start a new life.
I wish your friend So much luck and hope she does the right thing.