My child will not go to sleep at night. I seriously am at the end of my patients. She's 4 and needs her sleep otherwise she's super cranky. We brush teeth at 7:30 and than straight to bed. She has down time if colouring or playing quiet for half an hour before bed. She's tired and you can see she is but no matter if I moved bed time earlier or later I have the same trouble minimum 30 minutes before up to an hour or even more someone's before she goes to sleep. She won't lay by herself if I leave her she gets out of bed turns the light on plays etc. I've tried putting her back into her bed constantly for days but nothing seriously works. I've always had problems with bed time and nothing seems to work. I've tried reading to her to make her fall asleep even bought rabbit book that's meant to make them fall asleep. I've tried getting really cross, tried the soft approach of talking to her, tried to be quiet and ignore her, yelled at her. Seriously nothing works and I'm not even joking. It's not even just with me she does it. On the occasions she sleeps at nanny and Poppy's or Auntys houses it's the same thing.
You can not get her to lay still and I mean at all she will move fidget etc right up until she's asleep.
Has anyone got anything that has worked for them? I'm seriously ready to pull my hair out. I don't know what else I'm meant to do. I hate being the cranky mum but that's all I seem to be at bed time lately because she just doesn't listen and won't go to sleep. I've tried teddies tried rewards.
Help this mumma out with things that have worked for you.
Getting child to sleep
Getting child to sleep
Posted in:
Mental Health, Health & Wellbeing, Kids
9 Replies
30 minutes to an hour is not ab-normal in this house lol
Really? If she'd just lay still she'd be asleep so quickly! My siblings kids don't take anywhere near that on a regular basis. My daughter doesn't even sleep at kindy!
My nieces and nephews take around 30 minutes too
Okay so I have a three year old so it's a bit different but we go through stages where he persistently fights bed time but I consistently approach it the same. Every. Single. Time.
He has a routine of watching giggle and hoot do the goodnight song at 7pm, then we (partner and I take in turned each night) head off to bed and read a book together. Turn off light, put on a few battery operated lights he "needs" on and occasionally he asks for some white noise music which is either his scout bear thing or the baby monitor lullabies. And I leave.
He can play in his bedroom for up to an hour and I just leave him until he dozes off on his own, I think that's just his wind down thing he needs to do on his own. He occasionally comes out, and I just take him back and tuck him in and leave. Occasionally I'll see he has turned the light on and I go in and say "we don't have the lights on for sleep because it makes us sleep really bad. Mum and dad don't have the light on in our room. That's the rules, don't turn it back on or I am going to get really cranky" and walk out.
I often say the same thing... "don't do such and such. It's time for sleep now. You need to go to sleep. I can't go to sleep until you've gone to sleep. If I have to come in again, I am going to get really cranky. I only say goodnight one time."
Consistency is the key. Decide your plan of attack, and do the same thing... repeat it over and over for two weeks and I assure you, she'll start to get the bloody picture... even if you have to let her play in her room until she falls asleep and then sneak in and turn the light off.
I feel you, I can't stand bed time shananegans drives me bonkers
He also says "I don't want to sleep" and I'll often just say "well you need to lay down and rest your little body because you've been doing lots of running and you've been so busy today. You really need to rest your body so you can have lots of energy tomorrow" and that tricks him to "resting" and he falls asleep.
I also think me rambling like that pisses him off so he is like... oh shit mums rambling again, I better not bug her or she doesn't shut up hahahaha
Do quiet playtime earlier so 7 o clock brush teeth and in bed with dim lights. Thats what helps them go to sleep. Lie with her and talk or tell a story in the dark, say good night and then keep lying still until shes asleep. I roll over and play on my phone.
My advice is dont be too strict or too stressed because we expect so much from little people, I fought for bedtime from 18months I just thought thats what kids do, but mine didnt! But now she will lie down, say goodnight and be asleep in 5. When shes old enough she will do it, until then, dont kill yourself just keep it dark and as still and relaxed as possible. We also tried audio bedtime stories and playing a lullaby that just repeats, both really quietly.
My nearly 4 year old has ADHD so bed time is a total punish.... I literally have to guard her until she falls asleep.
When it hits 7pm no matter what we're doing we drop everything and it's time for bed. I have a chair next to her bed that I sit on, we have the lights off and sit in the dark in silence while I rub her belly or back. When she moves or opens her eyes I will just say "close your eyes" or "stop moving" then ignore her again.
It was really hard for a few days because she kept playing games but I was persistent and now months later she's asleep within 5 minutes and I can have some sweet alone time!
If I try to leave the room while she is still awake bed time drags out until 10pm, no jokes.
Lay with her. Tell her you will lay with her until she's asleep as long as she's still. I recently started using white noise with my Miss 6 (rain sounds) while I lay with her which helps her switch off while she falls asleep. I take the 30 mins to chill out while she's going to sleep.
Some kids have very strong physical energy and it is hard for them to become grounded enough to sleep. Is she getting lots of exercise? Try 1 hr huffing and puffing in the day. And then my daughter needs massage to get her to drop down into her body. A number of people here suggesting back rub. It's for a reason. Only other thing to suggest is reading in bed isn't just for falling asleep. It is good for calming the body. Try to read together every night and set up a routine that doesn't change. Then the body gets used to it and sleepiness comes. Then leave it up to her when sleep comes. Reward the good behaviour strongly and you will see more. Good luck!