My son is showing signs of anxiety and depression. He has had some issues at school previously and we went straight to school to get it sorted out and keep our line of communication open; he doesn't want to go anywhere, even a family holiday; and then the devastating blow the other night he said he's so ugly. He's a great kid, friendly, kind and loving, everyone says so. He is adamant he does not want to talk to anyone about how he feels or to help him build his confidence (I want to get a plan and see a psychologist) - I feel like I can't force him to see someone. What do I do??
4 Replies
You force him to see someone, you're the parent so you make the rules. Don't make it about "seeing a psychologist though". Sit in on the first session and get the psych to talk to you, about you and just other little things. Show him it's okay to be honest and then leave him be for the final 20 mins so he can talk alone.
Good luck and keep being positive to him!! :)
You take him to the psychologist, just like you'd take him to the cancer specialist if he had cancer but didn't want to go.
Kids don't have the maturity to make these decisions.
The psychologist will play games with your child and build a rapport, and slot in discussions. As the parent you will be given homework and strategies to use etc.
You could enrol in a playbased therapy course if you can find one, he'll learn the skills and listen without the pressure. All my child knew was they were feelings classes and she loved going. You could also go alone you will learn alot yourself ans the more you understand what youre seeing and have the strategies to teach him, the better off youll be.
Help him to understand that how he feels is a real 'thing' and requires medical attention, just like if he broke his arm or had a flu etc.
Do some research online of child and youth specific mental health resources and share them with him. Slowly slowly. Try not to panic, but I understand your fear and heart break. You can speak with the school counselor, etc yourself. Show him there's no stigma in talking openly about our mental health and the things we can do to help us through.
We use essential oils, meditation, mindfulness, school counselor, psychologist. Diet and exercise is important too. Getting good sleep too. My son has his own diffuser in his room. He likes lavender, he listens to music to go to sleep. A strict bedtime routine helps, maybe a bath with a few drops of lavender oil, no tech after dinner including TV. Have nice calm music playing. Read. There's heaps you can do as a family to support him...
PS my son has One day a week off school (issues with school) to go to the psychologist. We call this his mental health day, we then go hang out at a park, to a cafe, whatever he chooses, and we talk, about everything. It makes a huge difference. He feels heard and validated. It's about learning to trust each other. Oh and if your boy is reluctant to talk, don't do face to face, be side by side, like when driving or digging in sand pit, drawing, playing, gaming etc. Get into his world, and give him your undivided attention. Listen. Don't try to fix. Good luck