I ended the friendship with my best friend of 7 years. I always thought the world of her, and how she loved to make people happy. She helped me through some dark times. But there was always negatives. And the more the years past, the more negatives popped up. She always wanted to know every detail of my financial situations and upon my return to work 3 years ago she became very nasty about it all. She likes having lunch out at restaurants daily and when i could not due to working she would snap that I was no longer able to spend time with her and didn't like her anymore (apparently seeing each other 3 times a week was not enough). When I couldn't afford it , she would accost me about where all my money was going and put my fiance down and ask where his money was being spent . Recently I found out from 4 different people that she was speaking very negatively about me and talking about very personal issues i told/talked to her when we were friends. I confronted her and she admitted it (only after i gave her evidence but was trying to blame all of it black and blue on me). Since we have ended the friendship I am hearing more and more of my personal issues from lots of people claiming she told them. Lies are now also being spread about me and I am trying not to care but It hurts that she would do this. I worry what others now think of me and what kind of person I am. We have to see each other daily as my son and her daughter are both at the same school with ajoining classrooms. I dont know how to get passed all this. I just want to move forward but I feel like I can't and if i confront her again, she will twist it like she did last time and I can not afford for her to lie and say nasty things about me and have it get back to my place of work (i am a teacher aide) (this is the type of person she is!) She will not stop until everything is always about her.
4 Replies
Id change schools i think as you cant be friends with her ever again after this. Have you advised those friends that what she is saying isnt true? You may have to seek legal advice as spreading rumors is defamation of character which is against the law.
It's ok to worry about what people think of you but limit it to people that actually know you. They will see with their own two eyes that what she says is bullshit. When you hear anything untrue from somebody just reply with "I don't know why she'd say something like that, we were friends but she's turned nasty and her lies are getting more outlandish to try and get my attention", it will put the idea in their head to watch what she says and question its truth.
You don't have to see her. Your son can meet you a few classrooms away or at the office. You can organise to communicate with the teacher in other ways or at other times.
Stop worrying about her or what she can/will do. When the drama stops she'll get bored and move on.
Firstly, if people are going to think less of you because of some school yard gosip, fuck them! Seriously, if they're not important to you let them think what they want. Anyone that is important to you would know it's untrue!
Secondly, If the lies she's telling could put your job in jeopardy should your employers find out, then I agree that you need to get some legal advise, even giving your boss a heads up about the nasty things she's been spreading.
It sucks that you're having to deal with all this, people can be assholes sometimes!
Easy to say don't worry about it ect. but if she is a true narcissist it will be bad and your son attends the school. If it were me, I would try the path of least resistance. Try and tame the beast, without becoming friends with her again. It's hard, but maybe apologise, tell her that she was right etc it's horrible but it would solve all your problems. Even use other people, she will buy it hook, line and sinker and love it. I was talking to so and so and so and amd they made me see it from your perspective and how unfair I have been....I know it sux but it would work.