Ex-Husband Psychopath has our children 74% of the time. I signed consent orders in 2012 and 2014 through manipulation (2012) then lack of money to fight in court (2014) My children are being emotionally and physically abused.
I am in the middle of doing the paperwork myself for a urgent family law hearing, but have came to a stand still due to the information in my affidavit which my children have told me. When my ex-husband see's it I am terrified of what will happen. He and his mother has made our children scared to talk to me as he emotionally abuses them when they do.
2 of my sons are being physically abused both at school (from school children) and at home by their brother. My youngest 7 received stitches in his head only 3 weeks ago from school. My ex-husband is stating there is no issues. My sons are telling me different and I can see by the bruises there IS issues. My ex has breeched 16 orders, including him and his mother denigrating me to the extent my eldest (12) rairley visits on my time.
My youngest (7) and oldest (12) was diagnosed with anxiety, my youngest has been referred to a Psyc which his father will not let him attend cause there is "no issues", due to the boys only coming to me every second weekend I am trying to get my youngest to the Psyc on weekends, but that is proving difficult. My oldest was referred to a Psyc 2 years ago, after 2 visits the Psyc said my ex was a psychopath then he shifted towns.
His mother has also "talked bad" about me to the school to the extent they will not respond to my email in regards to bullying. My youngest was in tears saying he did not want to go back cause he didn't want to be "punched" or "hurt" anymore. I asked my youngest what bad was being said about me, he said "I can't remember it all." I didn't push any further but that told me it must be frequently or lots of different things.
I was trying to chastise Mr Middle for bullying his little brother resently on the iPad, my ex's mother yelled and told me to "Shut up."
I used to msg my ex-husband when the boys would tell me of stuff but they begged me not to anymore cause "Dad gets angry" when they tell me anything about bullying or my youngest constipation problems, he has been diagnosed with chronic constipation (has been going on years) but yet again my ex says there is no problem and is not being treated.
How can I KNOW my children are safe while starting the family law case off again?? I have put many complaints into DOCS, doctors, psychs etc etc, but nothing is helping. I am bound by the consent orders to send them back each time, which puts them in a dangerous position once I file in the courts as my ex will get my affidavit.
12 Replies
Can you not name them and quote them or their opinion. Sounds like you leave that out and the facts are still solid enough.
Yes I can name and quote them but once my ex gets the paperwork he will see what they have been telling me which will put them in more danger of mental abuse.
DONT do that. List everything else without including their point of view. Even say that they have been alienating and you believe they fear him so you wont be quoting them.
How could you have signed consent orders and allowed this monster to have your kids? Plenty of women self represent and are successful, my heart breaks for them. I would not send them back ever again, you are allowed to withhold due to abuse, it's time to stand up for those poor children. When you have them, take them straight to psyche and get full report as evidence to support why you won't send them back. Time to be strong, take them back and give them the life they deserve.
When your solicitor is through legal aid and is not being payed enough to fight for you, then your ex has emotional abuse down pat, lack of sleep and being cohersed into signing orders you don't believe in is soul destroying. Then add into the mix that he spent $1000's on a "bulldog" solicitor (who I am terrified of) you don't have a hope to begin with. I hope you are never in this situation.
If I withhold 1 it will be an open and closed case for seperati the children. The oldest has had 6 years of emotional abuse/alienation which has turned him against me. Unless you can tell me different about withholding with consent orders that would be much appreciated.
Been there.....I'm a single mum, i would never sign my kids over to the ex, ever, no matter the circumstances, you didn't even fight for them, you just gave consent.They are being abused, I would not send them back, if they are in danger and you sent them back then you are complicit in that abuse. They need to see you stand up for them, I know women who have practically got a law degree whilst self representing and fighting for their kids. I would take both and prove the abuse. The older on e who hates you needs you more, he's the one who will end up being an abuser like this dad, he needs to get out of that environment amd at the moment he sees you as weak.
I will not be responding to ur judgmental comments any more. I will just add go into a Womens shelter and take note of how many "weak" ladies that are in there due to domestic violence, the harder I pushed for justice the worse it got for my children and as the police said "Are you sure he wasn't a cop in his past life as he continually works in the grey line."
They usually leave with their kids in their hands, not leave them there. You are out, time to get your kids out, it's been 5 years.
I didn't leave the children there. If only it was so clean cut. I was forced to shift from that town 12 months after we separated due to being stalked and him moving my stuff around in MY home when I was out. He knew I was shifting, he offered to help shift. I said no. When I went to pick the children up from his visitation, he had hid them, I filed instantly for a urgent recovery order and for temp orders which took 11 weeks. On court day my underpaid legal aid solicitor forced me into signing the consent orders after hrs of me saying no, he said if I didn't I would get even less time with my children. I had not seen my children for 11 weeks, 1 was a baby. I was cohersed into signing the papers.
Sorry you had to go into such detail here to defend yourself. This comment is judgmental and is blaming the wrong person.
I have been where you are. My ex husband has also been diagnosed as having antisocial personality disorder (psychopath). I look back and wonder how the hell I was manipulated into signing ridiculous orders that gave him so much visitation. You Do Not have to send the children back. Let him file for a breach of orders, you have enough evidence to prove that the children's safety is not guaranteed. Let the court prove you wrong.
I understand where you are coming from. After some very scary threats to seriously harm my husband and myself, I was terrfied of my ex recieving and reading the affidavit.
But my circumstances were different as my child was safe in my care.
From what you have described, it sounds like the father is extremely negligent when it comes to caring for the boys emotional and physical health. On top of the emotional abuse.
You may have had a poor experience with a legal aid solicitor in the past, but they aren't all terrible. My solicitor was wonderful.
I really suggest getting legal advise. You obviously have genuine and validated concerns for the children's safety and well-being. You may be able to withold them on those grounds until court proceeding begin, particularly because of your concerns due to the father's reaction about the information you want to submit in your affidavit.
Have you got an AVO or intervention order in place? Is there a need for one to protect your safety? You can always speak to a family violence officer at a police station too.