This is going to be long.
Always a reader never a poster!
I am a divorced mum of 3 little people 14, 11 and 10. My children have lived with me and are now currently living with there dad in another state to me. Was a mutual decision made by the two of us as it was the best choice at the time. I have an ok relationship with my ex and we communicate well but we still have our arguments also.
Recently I have learnt things we agreed on regarding the kids and them living with him have not been happening. He has been doing things I do not agree with and kids are unhappy and have been telling their nan (his mother) they want to move back home to me. I am happy for this to happy but here is my dilemma
My ex has bluntly refused. I have tried mediation and he refused to participate so I do have the certificate from them to say he would not participate. I have contacted a solicitor and asked about when the kids visits if I could just not send them back (neither one of us have custody we have always had a mutual agreement even when the kids lived with me) the solicitor advised I can do this but he can have the police knock on my door and return them to him and we would then just have to go to court. He also advised that court cost can be uo to 30 grand plus so unfortunately I can not afford this. I am in the process of looking at bankruptcy (due to a house we had together but he has not been Paying the mortgage and the bank is taking the house (unfortunately my name is still on the home loan) he mum is willing to back me in court. In no way do I want to stop him having contact with the kids as he is their dad they love him and he loves them, but at this time I am in a better position to care for them. Here is some things happening that I think are crap.
1. 11 and 10 year old walk home alone and stay home still 14 year old arrives after school about 4pm
2. He leaves work before they get up in the morning and arrives home about 7pm
3. 14 year old is made to cook dinner every night
4. Kids are not made to do homework or home readers as he has no time to do it.
5. Kids are not doing very well at school at the moment
6. They do karate cause it suits him they don't like doing karate but have no choice.
7. 14 year old babysits kids and his mates kids while the adults go to the pub and drink.
8. Ex can be a real jerk when drunk so I can only imagine what my little people have to put up with.
Plus so much more.
When they first moved to his mum was helping out until they had a falling out and he has banned her from helping with the kids hence why the kids are now walking home alone and staying home alone... Even tho the Nan is there wiing and able to help out.
So now my question is would you take the risk and not send them home?
Please help me I am seriously thinking of kidnapping my own children.
4 Replies
I would pursue the court way. Or call Facs and see if whats happening is ok or if you can get a report.
Why would the police come and take them if you didnt send them back? There is no court order. A mutal agreement is not a court order. The police won't do anything without a court order or a recovery order. That was made clear to me by two different solicitors.
Your only option, however is to go through family court.
Are you able to apply for legal aid?
I don't see a major problem with any of the things mentioned to be honest. How often does he go to the pub? How long would your kids be on their own for? And the mortgage, why aren't you also responsible for making repayments? If he has all the kids do you pay him child support?
Your more than welcome to privately contact me I have been in the same situation, you don't have to send the kids back he didn't agree to mediation and it won't cost that at court.