Hey IMs so I guess ill give you abit of a back round story of how my question came around.
A few weeks ago I was kind enough to put my sister and her 2 sons up after leaving her abusive relationship. I have a small 3 bedroom house, a partner and 2 young girls of my own. My sister likes to drink every night and last night was horrible. I went to bed early as I was tired, my partner stayed up to have abit of a drink as he sometimes likes to do (he is not an everyday drinker maybe once a week if that) at 4am he came to bed and started telling me my sister spent 4 hours throwing herself at him he said she was saying things like "fuck my sister, she doesn't care about you like I do" At first I was skeptical but he managed to get a video of my sister crying and turning nasty because he turned her down.
My question is. What the hell do I do? How do I confront this? Has anyone been in this type of situation? She has no where to go and I dont want to feel like im abandoning my nephews. Im angry, hurt and feel betrayed. Any kind of advice will be great.
8 Replies
Oh no that's not on at all. Tell her you love her and her children but her drinking and behaviour towards your partner is unacceptable. Tell her if she drinks one more night she will have to leave. You have your own children to protect that have to come first. There are emergency shelters, housing etc she can go to. She is being totally disrespectful.
Wow! That is above and beyond inappropriate! How disrespectful. As hard as it may be for you, if it were me, I would be giving her a week or two to organise herself and get out. Kudos to your husband for letting you know, but 4 hours? He should have nipped it in the bud as soon as she began. Unfortunately for you, if you allow her to stay, its going to be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved and there's no guarantee she wont do it again. Good luck!
I'm gobsmacked! Although your sister has a lot happening at the moment I'd be telling her that's not acceptable, no more drinking for the duration of her stay and if she can't then I would be telling her to find somewhere else to go. So disrespectful! Coming from someone that's not far out of an abusive relationship I can see how she may be envious of your marriage but that behaviour is atrocious. Good luck.
I would be firstly asking her about it, and wanting an explanation. I would then tell her u care for her children and their Welbeing but can't have her in the house acting the way she is I would give her a week to find new accommodation and asking her to leave.
Ewwww GROSS :/ Why the hell would she want to shag her sisters partner. She has issues. Tell her to sober up and move on. Gather up some shelter numbers and send her on her way. Do it gently if you want to have contact with your nephews.
personally I would be thinking of yourself first, I can definitely understand worrying about your nephews but I think finding alternate safe accommodation for her and her sons would the best thing to do. What help will you be to her when your relationship and family dynamics are falling to pieces because of her? Her behaviour is selfish and wrong and will be toxic to you and your family and that most certainly isn't fair on you. At the end of the day whilst she is your sister it is her problem not yours and why should you be disrespected like that in your own home?
I would be confronting her calmly and expressing your feelings and explaining that what she did is hurtful and not acceptable behaviour. Help her find somewhere to stay particularly for those poor innocent children but don't feel you are doing the wrong thing by asking her to leave. If she had any respect for you she would not have done what she has done. I would also suggest, suggesting to her to get some help and support services including counselling and if she realises her mistakes there will certainly be no harm in supporting her along the way but perhaps just not in your home because you and your family come first!
Good luck mumma =) xx
Simply put tell her to leave. No explaination will change the fact she was willing to sleep with your partner. As a sister you DONT go there. I dont care what her damn issues are whats happened to her or where she goes but you simply DONT go there no matter what.
She obviously has no consideration for you, your partner or you generosity of giving her a roof over her head ...
Say goodbye and tell her she is no longer a welcome part of your family.
I would talk to her about it, She may not remember or may do so but it will fester if ignored If you feel that upset with here
Try looking for domestic vilance shelter's she can have the kids in