I am a bio mum and a step mum. My step kids have been through a lot. But recently my step daughter kissed my son on the penis and got him to then in return kiss her down there. We have also caught her laying on her female cousin they were both naked. She continually lifts my shirt up and tries to play with my boobs. When I tel her to stop she laughs at me and continues.
The issue is. I don't feel her kissing my son on his penis is normal sexual behaviour for any child. Yet our lawyer feels it is normal and we shouldn't be making a fuss about it or we could look bad. My ex doesn't think it is either and has said if it happens again he will be taking action to keep my kids. Which I don't blame him as I would do the same to keep them safe. I don't feel my step daughter is a monster but I know we can't do anything unless she tells us something happened but she can't remember anything from being with her mum 18months ago. Her bm is an ice addict and was dealing out of the house and had ice addicts constantly at her house. She also abused alcohol on top of the drugs and the kids were constantly neglected while she was passed out in bed. she remembers running away at 3 and not wanting to go home and remembers chasing my car down the street after drop off but she can't remember why she get this way about her mothers house. We have always felt something had happened and she was blocking it out. We just don't know what and now this has started to happen. She is in seeing a sexual assault councillor who is teaching safe body practices. Just don't know where to go from here.
Sexualised child behaviour
Sexualised child behaviour
Posted in:
Health & Wellbeing, Kids
3 Replies
Peronally, I wouldn't listen to the lawyers opinion on this. They are not qualified to know what is or isn't normal children's behavior.
I can definitely understand your concerns. If your step daughter didn't have this troubling background, I would probably say it was just curiosity and lack of understanding of personal space and boundaries. However, given what she's been through I'd say there's a distinct possibility that she's experienced sexual abuse, if not physical I'd say at least she's been exposed to explicit sexual content.
I would suggest a child phsycologist, keep going with the sexual abuse counselling and keep instilling the understanding of personal boundaries to her. There is a really good program that goes to my kids school that teaches about safety, private parts ect. I can't remember what its called but if you google it it should come up.
I just looked it up, all the info is on the brave hearts website, I think it's called the Ditto program
How old is the said child?
From about 8 years old I was very sexual and I certainly was not abused or exposed to said behaviour. I just felt a "want" for sex type things, I would often play truth and dare with friends (boys and girls) and it'd lead to kissing each other down there and so on. We didn't know what we were truly doing at the time, just that we liked it. The only thing though was it was a big secret, we didn't want the adults to find out.