Hi seeing a child psychologist who specialises in victims of crime and am linked in with support so thats ok. I also have a dvo in place... i was abused in all forms from the childrens dad. No longer with.
Now.... i want to speak to anyone or if you could share the signs you saw in the child? Behaviours? Who then the truth came out about the abuse.... further down the track. Anything that may help me out here. I just want to hear from someone else other than the proffessionals aswell so i can be full of knowledge on this if possible and not miss anything that could be vital. Kids are 5 (girl) and 8 (boy).
I have a copy of the sexual behaviour traffic lights and info.
I am just after some more personal contacts and experiences.
Thank you for your support and help ❤
6 Replies
Sorry I cannot advise but just wanted to say that you're a bloody brilliant mum xx
My daughter was abused by her much older half brother when she was 5 years old. She became sad.. like she lost her zest for life. Now she's a bit older (10) she obsesses over boys and how she looks, and will do anything to be "accepted". I tried to reduce contact with her step brother, but now she says she loves him and misses him, so I think although we might have a lot of anger towards the perpetrator, the victim doesn't because of the dynamic of the perpetrator/ victim relationship.
If your suspecting that they have been sexually abused i would link in with a child psychologist who deals with sexual assault for them to make an assessment. If the children are displaying highly sexual behaviour for the age that can be an indicator but not always the case. I would suggest to reiterate to them that if this has happend or of it ever happens that they are in a safe place and should tell mummy even if they have threatened to hurt anyone as it is not ok. If in doubt contact authorities such as jirt team who are specialised officers who deal with children sexual assault for more guidance or investigation.
If your suspecting that they have been sexually abused i would link in with a child psychologist who deals with sexual assault for them to make an assessment. If the children are displaying highly sexual behaviour for the age that can be an indicator but not always the case. I would suggest to reiterate to them that if this has happend or of it ever happens that they are in a safe place and should tell mummy even if they have threatened to hurt anyone as it is not ok. If in doubt contact authorities such as jirt team who are specialised officers who deal with children sexual assault for more guidance or investigation.
I watched a friends daughter go through this in hind sight I wished I'd known what I was it was at the time. She was drawn to males and it wouldn't matter if she didn't know them she climb all over them seeking attention. Bed wetting when it came time to go to dads and after she got back probably about a week in total. Extreme mood swings lack of personal hygiene care were some of the main ones that I can name. But please remember that you have walked away from a DV your kids are going to be all over the place emotionally and behavioral wise. Make sure you have plenty of professional support for yourself and the kids just listen if the want to talk and don't ask questions. My son is still effected by his experience through my two DV relationships even today and he's 26 this year good luck best wishes
This is so difficult, as a parent who's been through this the best thing I can say - go with your gut instinct.
If there is any sexualised behaviour that is not age appropriate I'd be sus. Let your children know they can tell you anything and who else they can talk to.
Good luck mumma bear, roar if you must and remember you've got claws!