Has anyone found it really hard to process how their birth went? My first bubba was born 5 months ago and while everything went pretty well as far as labour and birth (no complications, but was induced with Sintocin), I'm struggling to accept that it is a 'wonderful' or 'beautiful' experience. In fact, I never want to ever do it again. I am completely in love with our baby and love being a mum, but I just want to forget that day of labour. I'm so stressed about it that I freak out and panic when hubby or anyone else mentions having more children. Is this normal to still feel this way?
3 Replies
My advice, don't worry about what is normal. Different people feel differently about giving birth.
I personally felt labour was more a means to an end. I think there is so much hype around having a magical birthing experience but I never felt anything magical. For me it felt like a bodily function. I bonded with my baby straight away, no problems there, but I didn't feel giving birth was a special experience, just something you did.
My labour wouldn't have stopped me having more children If I wanted more children. But at 5 months if anyone even mentioned more children I looked at people like they were insane. Seriously I just like to enjoy the child that's here first!
You might find it helpful to talk to a counsellor about how you feel. Just to help you process how you are feeling and discuss strategies, if you feel you aren't moving forward. But honestly if someone mentioned more kids at the 5 month mark I'd want to stab them.
I feel the same way about pregnancy. I hated being pregnant, 9 months of spewing to the point of tearing my throat lining, 9 months of total exhaustion, 9 months of pain. I have 3 children and I never understood the whole "pregnancy is beautiful, magical & miraculous" feelings other mums had, I hated every minute of it (And felt enormously guilty for feeling that way, knowing there is so many women in the world dying to become pregnant & I had no problems falling pregnant. I felt like I didn't have the right to feel this way).
I think your feelings are very normal, giving birth is hard. You're only 5 months post baby too, I'd just put all your energy into your baby and just tell people that you're not ready to have another baby yet, if you want to have another one at all.
I do think you need to let go of this notion that birth is supposed to be wonderful or beautiful because it's not for a lot of people and that's OK!
Just take pride in the fact that you brought another human into the world, that's what I would focus on.
To me the magic and wonder of child birth was from the fact I survived the worst most horrific pain I've ever been through lol - to me with my first child there was nothing amazing about giving birth to her, over due,over 24 hours labour, pain beyond imagine but guess what I done it again a couple of years later because you truely do forget the pain but at five months post partum that was still firmly etched into my brain and vagina. Don't stress about the future because it will take away from the now, give it time and you will see how amazing it felt to meet your bubba for the first time but the memories of the worst parts will slowly fade away.