I feel broken.
I know what i need to do, but i am petrified of hurting my partner again.
I love him, as a friend, but that passionate love has faded. We have been together for 7 years and have a child together.
I have left him once before but the guilt drove me back.
He is extremely selfish and very childish. I feel like i have no control over my own life, everything is on his terms.
The house is practically his, the car is his, and I'm not working due to becoming a stay at home mum. I have depression and anxiety and some medical conditions have arisen this year. Through everything i have been through he offers little to no support.
I know i need to get out of this toxic situation but there are so many circumstances that have kept me here. Mainly that gut wrenching guilt you feel when you know it will break someones heart.
But im just not happy, and i feel like i deserve to actually be happy.
I more needed to vent as i don't really have an avenue to do so. Thank you beautuful mummas.
I feel stuck
I feel stuck
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care
3 Replies
Love yourself more. Love your child more. You don't want to be modelling this environment for your child.
Your 'partner' is a child throwing a tantrum over his toy being taken away. You are not his belonging. If he loved you, truly loved you he wouldn't treat you like he does. You are not his belonging. Let him have his tantrum.
I've been where you are. I know the feeling of guilt all too well.. the one thing someone said to me that finally snapped me out of it was this.. "your children are watching. They know and understand more than you think. You are teaching them to put others wants before their needs". This won't "cure" your feelings of guilt (I still feel it 18 months on because my ex refuses to stop bringing it up) but you need to start putting yourself and your child first. See a counsellor if you can, a gp can refer you to one and will be covered under Medicare. I wish you all the best. You can do this. You and your child deserve better.
I was in exactly the same situation. I had a big talk to him 12 months ago. Wrote a letter to him to kick the conversation off because I am terrible at confrontation and worried he would either get angry or hurt. We worked on it for a while, he improved but people are who they are and after a few months things went back to how they had been before. Him with all the control, me feeling more like an employee than his love and life partner. So I left with our 3 year old. Best thing Ive done in a long time. My ex also spoke to me like dirt though, not sure if yours is the same. I dont put up with that shit. 12 months was long enough after our first addressing the issue. Prob too long. Now I feel more free and like my life is my own again. And I might add that our daughter has never been this happy! She is now thriving. Look after yourself and your child mama. Screw selfish disrespectful men. Who needs 'em 😘