What would you do if your partner's kids disrespect you & your things. Just yesterday my partner's son killed one of my fish & hid it under the stand. There was water on the floor i asked him if he was playing in the tank he denied it. His father pulled me aside said he put water in there then put to much so was trying to take the water out by his hands. I know his intentions meant well but he killed my sons fish.
His daughter is rude to me yet he laughs at her cuteness & doesn't tell her off yeh ok she is 3 but she should know what right from wrong i meant isn't it our job to teach them this?
I'm ready to end the relationship because of his kids.
Am i over reacting? Would you stay?
7 Replies
No, I wouldn't stay. How he raises his kids is a BIG deal. Sure they are kids and are just learning, but if you and he don't have similar parenting styles this will never work long term. It will always be him laughing at his kids while you are expected to suck it up. It will eventually become you and your kids versus him and his kids.
As for the fish, dad either saw what happened and didn't stop it, WTF. OR the son told him what happened and dad didn't tell you and left you to find out for yourself WTF?
Can you imagine doing this when those kids are teenagers? Nup, nope, not worth it.
If you guys aren't on the same level when it comes to parenting, it's never gonna work. You both need to have a good honest chat about your goals as parents. It does sound to me that discipline is not a high priority of his.
Did your partner speak to his son about the fish incident? I'd be concerned if he didn't. Even if it was an accident a chat about respecting other peoples stuff and more importantly the way we treat living creatures should've been had.
If the relationship was relatively new I'd probably cut my losses
Im not sure. Both of those things, in certain circumstances, I could see myself doing the same as him. I dont think you do need to tell off a three year old and soemtimes it is funny to have a laugh with the other adult when they say something. I dont know the full circumstance withe fish, how old the child is, was dad there, perhaps he was beside himself and dad said to him its ok Ill talk to her about it. Lying saying no is basically a kids way of saying I cant cope with getting into this conversation.
Did dad fix the fish situation with you and your son? Or was that all? Maybe they get the inability to handle situations maturely from him then?
if you really feel done already, our opinion on over reacting or not doesnt matter, its what you like and expect that counts when deciding who youll spend your life with.
You are already resenting the kids due to his bad parenting, this is the best it's going to get at the beginning, it will only get worst. Talk to him, if you can't get on the same page in regards to parenting (not saying any way is better), it's not worth it.
I would leave, as it will only get worse. If you guys don't agree on parenting then that to me is a deal breaker. Its huge that they lied about the fish. His father should have made him tell you the truth and apologise. 3 yr olds absolutely need boundaries and a good telling off sometimes. What seems cute now won't be, when she's 6 or 7 doing the same or worse.
I would leave, as it will only get worse. If you guys don't agree on parenting then that to me is a deal breaker. Its huge that they lied about the fish. His father should have made him tell you the truth and apologise. 3 yr olds absolutely need boundaries and a good telling off sometimes. What seems cute now won't be, when she's 6 or 7 doing the same or worse.
Really everybody wow does no one work on anything anymore relationships can be tuff and being a step parent is even tougher. No two people can ever fully agree on parenting issue all the time. I have been there and still there and some days it's tough you need to talk, go to counciling and respect each other's views. Voice that you think it is rude and that you don't like it explain that not all people think that it's funny dad does but I don't like it please don't do it to me. I have found if i ask my step sons to stop doing something in a neutral tone and explain why I don't like it or think it's inappropriate using language to there age group obviously then they respond a lot better then if I get upset about it or with them. Most kids don't like step parents because they feel they are a threat to there relationship with there parent. I have been through hell and back with my step sons but I love just as much as my own.