So I have a friend who is having a rough time with custody of her 10yo son. When he was 2 she moved interstate with him, (father had agreed) but when she came back for a holiday/her son to spend time with his dad, he'd had papers drawn up saying she couldn't leave the state with him. A few years later she has moved back and has her son for 2 nights every 3 weeks. Recently her ex has split from his wife so they're trying to do up a new custody arrangement, (she's been trying for the past 4 years to get more access) but the ex wife is now saying she wants time with the son also and is threatening to take them both to court if she's isn't included in the new visitation orders. There are no hard feelings with the ex-wife, she's done a great job helping to raise the boy over the years and both parents have offered her to have him one weekend a month, (to spend time with his half and step siblings) but it's not good enough and she wants the sons time to be split between the 3 of them. My friend is concerned that having 3 homes will be hard especially as he gets older. Just wondering if the ex-wife has any rights to the child as it isn't biologically hers? (Yes she has an appointment with a lawyer next week, but trying to find out other people's experiences/ideas on a solution)
3 Replies
Hell no. What the hell how selfish. So she wants to split the child between three homes? no she can work that out between the boys dad out of his time she has no rights to time.
I just cant help but think though that she has more involvement with the child and that your friend has less than she claims, and may be happy with that. Its odd to leave your child to move interstate without fighting and its odd to offer up your child one weekend a month to a third party when she already gets so little time. Theres definitely more going on here than shes saying.
In this case the step mum seems more like this childs mum. I'm calling it. Bio mum abandoned her child and now thinks she can just take him back from this other woman who put her blood sweat and tears into raising him. I'm not usually for step mums being called mum but in this case she is mum
I think theres a LOT more to the story ... and it sounds like a court outcome is necessary (won't work with out it ) BUT I would say at 10yo the child should have a say in how it works ... I'd be advising ur friend to start the court proceedings with all back story as the application (so they won't say mediation is necessary , it might still go through the conflict resolution part though ) and request an independent children's lawyer get involved in court proceedings so that they can figure out the child's wishes and advocate for them ! Adults can get so caught up in what they see as fair or not and forget what's best for the child ....