Hi IM's, love this site and I try and contribute as much as I can but now I have a question.....
My daughter is in grade 7 high school, age 12, as they go to high school a year early in our area here. Does anyone give their child a 'mental health day', like when they are complaining of being tired and really need a day off to sleep in and catch up, as we all feel this way sometimes. She normally always goes as I generally push her along but I wondered if it's okay now and then to let them stay home and stay in bed?
10 Replies
My mum used to give me a mental health day once a term, as long as i didnt miss any tests in school or exams in high school.
Nothing wrong with it at all :)
I think once a term at most is ok.
Yes. My son is in Year 8 and I always give him one day off a term and have done so since he started school. Just like adults, kids need a break from the mundane.
Yes. I used to let my son have them maximum of one a term.
My mum used to let us have them too.
I never had "mental health days" as such however looking back you could probably class them as such. I never ever wagged school (my sisters both did horribly, almost to the point of expulsion) however that was because if I didn't want to go to school, I would reason with my mum. I would tell her why and she would respect that and let me stay home. That was from about age 14 onwards though, prior to that I didn't really take days off. It wasn't often, maybe once every 6 weeks or so depending. Sometimes it was more often, however that was when I was preparing to move schools and waiting for the term to end so a lot of the classwork became irrelevant to me or we had days at school which was preparing us for the following terms.
In VCE it was my choice how much I attended, particularly when I turned 18 as I had a car and was able to live my life the way I pleased (very lenient parents) with the basis that you need X amount of attendance to pass year 12 and if I failed based on that, it was my fault. I never really took days off however when I had half days or study days I usually went home and just studied in my own privacy.
I'm a teacher and I have mental Heath days.
Not often. I haven't had one so far this year. But yes - I have them.
Sometimes you just need a recharge.
If it's not a regular occurance and she's not missing anything majorly important at school there is no harm.
My son is out of school now but was never given a "mental health day". He learned that in the real world sometimes you have to do shit even if/when you don't want to.
If he was sick he'd obviously stay home in bed, or on sports days (he hated most sports days) I'd let him wag or pick him up early but not just for being tired, if he was tired he was told to go to bed earlier that night.
We're a 5 day a week working family so our weekends are our recharge time. That's why I've never filled our weekends with just more shit to do (one sport if he chose to play that year, one visit to a family member for example).
My kids get one day per year to have some time out. We go somewhere relaxing and aim to do as little as possible until it's time to pick the other kids back up from school. We chat about the big things in life, problems, goals, etc.
We have strict conditions on this day off, no tests or assignments are to be due that week. It's one on one time, the other kids need to be in school or care. No tantrums or sulking, we are there to relax and talk like adults.
i've always been that mum who sends her kids to school unless they're half dead or contagious... except now i have a son with diagnosed high functioning autism, and a daughter just diagnosed with anxiety. and whilst i still send them to school every single day, if i see that they're just not coping with life, then they're going to be staying home with me. not just because they don't want to go, to let them stay home then would be counter productive and i'd start having problems getting them to school every day. but if i can see that their mental well being is compromised, i don't have a single problem with either of them having a 'safe' day at home. i think it's about common sense, being realistic and having compassion, and also being able to see through the kids just fancying a lazy day! i do think kids have it much tougher these days, nothing is left at the school gates, it carries on at home thru social media, and can so easily escalate. that said, i don't mean they have days off on a whim, it's still pretty rare that they don't go in. if we all stayed home every time we felt overwhelmed, it'd be total anarchy lol. i want them to grow up understanding what commitment means, and having a good work ethic. i don't want my legacy to the world to be two entitled adults who don't feel any sense of responsibility to anything other than themselves, see enough of that with the current generation of young adults already....
Absolutely! Especially toward the end of each term/year. I just call them in sick. Or if you have an appointment with them in the morning, just take the whole day off.