Let's talk mental health issues.....specifically severe depression , anxiety and ptsd (diagnosed by a doctor and a psychologist).
Does everyone have a strong knowledge of these illnesses?
Does anyone just think a person needs to "just get over it" or "they are the only ones that can snap themselves out of it" or "they need to just pop a pill and they will be better" or "they have had it for years. They mustn't want to get better and must be lying about how anti depressants don't work for them and that psychologists can help them but they just dont listen to them". ??
I have had these illnesses for almost 30 years. I have heard all these hurtful comments. I have had people/family/friends all give up on me and walk away. I have been fat shamed because of the weight I have put on over the years due to all the anti depressants I have tried because people in society think a fat person is only fat because they "eat too much" (funny that because I barely eat at all). I have no family left (yes literally) because of this and because they take my illness as my personality instead of separating the two and having better understanding and awareness of it. I have no friends anymore (yes literally) not even associates etc. I have no partner , but I do have my three kids (one being an adult now). I have no one to vent to , NOTHING.
I firmly believe that their needs to be more awareness of these illnesses out there in society. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain that medication can help (not fix or cure) if it is compatible with the individual person. Psychologists can help with strategies (if you are lucky enough to get a good one). And also did you know that yes people can get a mental health care plan which entitles them to free sessions with a psychologist , but did you know that it only entitles you to at most 10 sessions a year (that's 10 hours a year) to try and help someone. That amount of time could barely help someone with mild depression and anxiety , not severe.
So anyway , my point is please don't judge an individual person on how they should be able to cope or manage these illnesses. You aren't in their shoes!! No im not ok , but that's for another time. Please all take care of yourself and your loved ones xx thank you for reading if you cared enough to get this far.
7 Replies
Oh lovely!!
Hugs to you!!xxx
My husband was diagnosed with depression whilst in our failing business,
On the outside we looked like a wonderfully happy successful family,
Behind closed doors,we were a mess...and stuck in debt...we lost our home (we have been renting since)and I had to pick up all the pieces because he was unable to at the time....
I did it all...and in the end I paid a huge price for my stress as I had so much going on I had a break down which in turn caused me to have a psychotic episode,in which caused me to think people were going to kill me for it...and be hospitalised for 2 weeks,
Away from my beautiful kids and husband!!!
I don't tell many people because they would run,
We lost a lot of friends because they thought I was "psycho"
We are all on track now and doing ok,still can be hard at times though,
Please take care of yourself and thank you for posting,....?Xxx
Will say to the nasty people that frequent the page,scroll on if you have nothing nice to say!!!!!
At some stage we need to take responsibility for our own illness. This includes mental health.
You need to find your 'triggers' things that make each day painful.
You can do this with help of a psychologist. It's a relativity new therapy but it's really good at changing mindset.
My Aunt has suffered several mental health problems and in the end we thought it might be personality - until her psychologist changed her routine around and eliminated serveral things from her diet. She worked with a dietician and found waking and getting out of bed at 7am, going for a walk and having breakfast at her local cafe every morning increased her dopamine levels and made her happier. She has to avoid Soy products and doesn't watch the news anymore, or any breakfast shows (like sunrise, today etc) because the "dose" of reality made her depressed and hearing of stabbing, murder etc just deflated her for the rest of the day.
She now avoids FB and deleted her account. She has a weekly catch-up with friends and finds now she has something to talk about and listen to where as before she didn't as everyone already knew her week and she knew theirs. She said this helps her anxiety as before she thought she was boring as she had nothing new to say or add to the convo - now she has much more!
She also goes to craft class once a week and is really honest about good says and bad days but the good definetly outweigh the bad.
She also listens to music again, only boppy tubes with no hard feelings or emotions as she is too easily swayed by the emotional sounds. ((If she listens to evanescence she just cries for days))
So find what works for you - make some small changes and evaluate them to find your version of 'coping'.
Good luck!
So many people have very little idea of just how this affects the person and the family around them. My wife was diagnosed with post natal depression ever since our first born and it has taken us both years to come to terms with it. It is difficult from both sides but I have stuck by her, and although recently separated (I guess she reached breaking point) I am still trying my best to stand by her even though it hurts me deeply to be separated from my family.
Hey, did you know you can get more than 10 sessions a year? I get mine topped up by my GP once my 10 appointments have been used up.
I have a very strong awareness of mental health, I suffered severe depression for 8 years and my sister suffers very severely with anxiety and depression (as well as a lot of other mental health issues, drug abuse, alcoholism etc.).
My beliefs are that AT times (not always), the sufferer does "need to get over it" or "just move on". There are actually a lot of facilities and plans in action to facilitate those who suffer and it is up to the sufferer to seek help. Sure, we can see a psychiatrist, a psychologist, be put on anti-depressants however the change starts with us (the sufferer).
I am admittedly guilty for being recommend anti-depressants and expecting to feel better. I didn't take on board the plans the psych gave me, I didn't follow her coping mechanisms and I literally just thought taking the anti-depressants was enough. It obviously wasn't, it changed absolutely nothing. I had to take the anti-depressants, still see the psych, follow her advice and then I started to feel better. When came time to wean off of the medication, I still had to see her and continue on. It got better, but I had to be strict and committed. It eventually got good enough that I now see my psych maybe once or twice a year because I am continuously checking myself for signs of feeling depressed or falling back into my ways. But the change did fully start with me.
As for the comment regarding losing your family because of it, unfortunately it's how it is really. Again, we need to take responsibility for ours actions and stop blaming our illnesses. They contribute a lot to our behaviour but we are obviously aware of what we are like so we need to be aware of triggers and stop and think about our actions before doing them. I personally don't believe you can be so spontaneous due to depression or anxiety that you just push everyone away.
My sister is a prime example, she has pushed almost everyone away and is continuously blaming her mental illnesses. But the thing is, she knows her triggers yet doesn't avoid them and expects everyone to tolerate her treating us like shit and then forgiving and being "accepting". Life is too short to have to be treated like crap over and over so we removed ourselves from her life. She was on medication, she went to psych appointments, hell we even admitted her to facilities and yet nothing changed. She did things on her terms and she wasn't committed to wanting to change. So we gave up and moved on. And I will be brutal and admit life was so much better not having to worry about her being spontaneous or ruining something because she is there. I know it's horrible, I know it's brutal but it's just reality. I think the biggest thing we found when my sister was needing the help was that so many private facilities weren't willing to take on such a broken record or didn't have the space for her. There's obviously a really strong demand for it, she was turned down by 5 places over a 6 month period and eventually we had to go public and just take the first place willing to accept her.
Now days she is doing great mentally and is mending the broken bridges slowly, she has no trust from anyone but in time it will get there. She eventually sought the help she needed and made the changes. She can now recognise her triggers and avoids them (thank-god!). We see her on a semi-regular basis however she'll never be forgiven or excused for what she did to some people.
I think the thing that needs more awareness is where to start. Who is the first point of call to contact when you're feeling down? How can you seek help? Sure others can recognise there are signs there but having an intervention with someone in such a medical state is so damn difficult. We need to make people aware that they're suffering in silence and get them to come out of the woods to seek help. There's the suicide helpline which I see referenced at least once a day in news articles or on Facebook somewhere.
So, for those that may be suffering, here is where to start:
- Don't look on Google at your symptoms and self diagnose. You'll be worse off thinking you're suffering something you may not be.
- Head to a GP and ask for a referral for a psychologist. Explain how you've been feeling. Speak up whether you have a preference for man or woman, what you're looking for. Do you want someone just to talk to? Do you want someone who can help diagnose you? Do you want coping mechanisms? They'll be able to recommend someone suited to your needs, but without telling them that information they can't match you up with someone who will miraculously help you out.
- Contact psychologist, generally the wait time is not long at all.
- Follow the plans you make with them, without doing this you're just setting yourself up for the vicious cycle of feeling worse and worse.
- If you're suffering so badly that you're questioning life or harming others, mentally or physically, I suggest heading to your local emergency department and admitting yourself. If it's a public hospital, they cannot turn you away for wanting to be admitted as a psych patient. If you check in as an outpatient, you control how long you stay for and it honestly isn't like the movies at all (no white gowns, straight jackets, padded walls etc.). They will offer you immediate help and they can recommend facilities you can attend as an outpatient when ready, so you go to classes with others who are suffering and have a really strong support group.
This is really well said. I've been on both sides of this situation. As someone with severe depression and anxiety and the carer of someone with a severe psychiatric illness (my son). I've also cared for a boyfriend.
I can say from someone who is a carer I have walked away from my boyfriend not because of his depression but because he wouldn't follow medical advice. He wouldn't take medication, would refuse to see his psychologist. He wouldn't do the homework and did genuinely treat me like shit. My own mental health came at genuine risk and it came to the point where I had to walk away.
My son, although he is now an adult goes to his appointments religiously, follows the homework, takes his meds and really works hard to get better. He has bad times but he continues to consult doctors and his health team to move forward. His psychiatrist made it extremely clear to me and my son, that it was not OK for me to accept certain behaviours (no matter what) and it wasn't ok for my son to be abusive verbally, emotionally or physically from the day of our very first appointment and that there needed to be appropriate consequences. If I didn't have consequences in place I would be doing more harm than good. He has continued to improve and I can't remember the last time we had to put those consequences in place. I'm extremely grateful to that psychiatrist, no matter how hard that was to hear.
Hi IM search me on fb and send me a message if you need someone to talk to, I'm not a qualified anything but I have a lot of family and personal experience with depression and anxiety and I'm happy to talk if you need someone to talk to or even just listen if you just need someone to talk at. Nobody should have to suffer alone with nobody to talk to xx