So I just found out my ex is moving interstate. Over 2000km away....
We've been separated since our son was 9 months old. He's now 6. Just after our son turned 1 he moved interstate to "chase his dream". Because our son was so young, it was recommended (through mediation) that he returned to visit instead of taking him away from me, which he did every 6 weeks or so. He moved back two years later and we revisited mediation where we made an agreement for our son to stay with his dad every second weekend. Unfortunately this has never been consistent on his behalf (he has only seen his dad 3 times this year and it's already April).
Anyway the issue is not with visitation as such but the fact that he's moving so far away, we have no court orders but have a parenting plan agreed to and signed that stated that we were not to leave the area we live in (without discussion with the other parent), which was something HE bought up at mediation, not me. There was no discussion about his decision. He basically called me and told me he's moving interstate with his wife and children and that I would have to fly our son down and drop him off to visit. At MY cost!
I don't have an issue with our son going to visit, my issue is with me having to do the travel and pay the costs. He pays $75 a month child support. He expects our son will visit at least every school holidays (so every 2-3 months). I looked into the cost of flights and the cheapest of cheap flights will cost over $500 just to take him down, that's more than child support even covers (not to mention that it's for basic living not travel!). Our son has also been diagnosed with severe anxiety so there is absolutely no hope of getting him to fly unaccompanied even if/when he is old enough.
My question is have you been in this situation and if so who's responsibility is it for travel and costs associated with it?
I've looked everywhere for information and I can only find info on cases where the custodial parent moves with the child, not the other way around.
8 Replies
The person who moves away is responsible for costs. Re-initiate mediation. Be point blank you cannot afford to cover those costs. He sounds like a dick
What a dickhead....throw the book at him, agreement says parents can't move, well guess what? I will LET you move, but you must cover the costs of both me and son flying down or your own flights to pick up son and due to anxiety he will not be going alone. What a cheek, the nerve of the loser. I would probably say, since you have only seen our child three times this year, why don't you just move on, when my son is 18 he can contact you if he wants to. As if you are going to pay for him to have the privilege of seeing his own son when he can't even get off his arse and see him when he lives close. I would have a field day with this drongo! You're in the right, you know it, you just need a third party to tell you, I know how that feels, don't doubt yourself.
It's equal shared responsibility for travel costs, you are responsible for one half of his travel, he is responsible for the other. Revisit mediation, you can insist he can't move or that he foots at least half of the bill
His choice to move is not her problem. She doesn't need to pay anything.
Unfortunately, that is not the case in Australia. It would make sense that, should a person chose to move away, they should be liable to any travel expenses related to that, however, legally the financial responsibility of travel costs for shared custody is still 50:50 unless it has been agreed otherwise.
I had a friend recently try to fight this after her ex moved interstate and demanded she pay half travel costs to fly their child back and forth. She argued that they had no travel expenses, and that he chose to move away knowing it would incur extra expense, but she was still legally liable for half. :-/
I am in a similar situation. 6 year old child who travels 1200km to see father.
Only difference is, I'M the one who left that place. We have both repartnered and have children with those partners.
The child has been traveling by car every 8 weeks or so for 1-2weeks since aged 2. We meet halfway (unless other parent has a solid reason as to why that cannot occur). Now in Kindy, we have a parenting order stating 2/3 of school holidays with him, rest with me to allow settlement back into routine etc. Summer holidays is 50/50, alternating Christmas.
We are each responsible for our own travel costs etc. He asked me to contribute once and I shut him down pretty quickly. Ive never asked for money or help at all in 5 years . Would rather him and child have a relationship than worrying over money crap. Plus I'm very independent and managed well enough on my own.
For those saying (here and fb) he left, he should travel ect that's incorrect in accordance to the court if you both have agreed to shared parenting. Traveling and costs falls on both parents, as equally as possible.
At the end of the day, I can only give you my personal experience, and people can only tell you what they personally think is right or wrong. If you guys are in a good place, go to mediation. Most likely you'll be sent to a child respute mediation type thing as the courts prefer parents work it out for themselves (not to mention the cost of going to court).
All the best mumma!!!
We moved an hour away from my partners son we do all the travelling to and from his place and events ect we needed to move for work and wouldn't expect his ex to pay
We moved an hour away from my partners son we do all the travelling to and from his place and events ect we needed to move for work and wouldn't expect his ex to pay