My daughter has been asking me a lot lately where my father goes on his weekend holidays. He's been separated from my mother for a year now and has told us he is bi sexual. He is seeing a man that lives a couple of hours away from us but wants to bring him to meet us. I have tried to explain to her about same sex couples but she just laughs and thinks we are joking she is five. I don't want to go into to much details with her but I just want her to understand without thinking we are joking.
7 Replies
There are books and TV shows on the subject. You could try your local library, relationships Australia, playschool did an episode. Otherwise your local gay support service might have some materials.
Are you with your child's dad or do you have a partner? Just tell her they are just like you and her dad/your partner but they are both boys and there is nothing wrong with that, just continue to let her know you're not joking and that it is common and perfectly fine.
My 5 year old asks if boys can marry boys. I say sure. End of story. Ithink you need to push through that awkward laugh andsay yes really, people can love whoever they want sometimes boys love boys.
then say grandad goes to see his partner, he met simeone he likes. Then be factual that its a boy.
I would defintely set groundwork before you make it specific about your dad.
When she laughs that is your opportunity to explain it better to her. You and daddy love each other very much and granddad loves his boyfriend just the same - maybe even ask for a photo of the two of them together and show it to her. Normalise it. I guess because she knew her grandparents as being together growing up it would be a little hard to grasp the concept but just tell her that love comes in all different shapes and forms. My nephew's have a gay uncle and they've never thought twice about it or asked any questions but they did grow up knowing they were together.
Just be totally honest.
"Grandpa goes to visit his boyfriend (or whatever other term they use) on weekends"
She'll be curious, naturally but you just answer her questions and it will just become normal for her.
She'll only find it weird and confusing if everyone makes a big deal about it so I'd just be as matter of fact about it as possible, just like you would if grandma had a new boyfriend/partner.
You might need counselling as it's your father who has just 'come out'. Kids take their cues from the adults around them
I'd love to know how you go... I'll be having to explain to my children that their fathers girlfriend is actually a man who dresses like a woman. And that I don't know why Dad doesn't just admit he's gay. Fun times :/