Is it normal for mums to lose their shit by 8am EVERY morning? My almost 4 year old is so head strong. Every single person says how energetic he is, he has an amazing imagination, is curious and quite an intelligent kid. He also has sweet moments and apparently is an angel at daycare (2 days per week), I am an older mum and work three days per week.
But every day I'm cranky and yelling, before I've finished my first coffee. Not saying good morning, "I want cartoons", refusing breakfast, getting dressed, EVERYTHING. I can ask him not to touch something up to 20 times per day eg, the vertical blinds. So, my poor one year daughter cops it too... I try and give him one on one each day. My darling husband comes home everyday and walks into a war zone.
I know three year olds were sent here to test us and I know that still getting up to my daughter through the night is leaving me sleep deprived and I know my boy doesn't wake up in the morning with the goal of pissing me off. But at what point should a) I get help, re: parenting classes or b) get him help, for behavioural issues?
Can anyone recommend good parenting classes in the South west of Sydney?
Or, do I suck it up? Because he'll outgrow it.
5 Replies
Get help for both of you now. Life doesn't have to be like this, you know deep down inside this isn't 'normal'.
Work out if it is behavioural issues, work out if your expectations are reasonable, get it solved.
Start with a GP for a referral to a child psychologist and peadiatrician. Look into the tripleP parenting program. It an excellent program, comes with credible research and works well.
I have a child who does the same but she is 2
"I want this"...as soon as I sit down "I want that". Then as soon as she gets it, she doesn't want it anymore and wants something else. All day...every day. She also touches stuff she's not meant to and screams constantly when I tell her no. My partner also walks into a war zone. I just enrolled into a course I can do online at home and am considering cancelling it because I can't get anything done with her home and by the time she falls asleep I'm not far from her in doing so myself.
Theres certain stages that get me. For eg when you get woken up and your eyes are burning and theyre pushing you out of bed and to the lounge then off the couch, whinging then yeah I lose it.
Phases that dont last long though. You as the adult need to find ways to fix it. Sometimes getting out of the house for school and work absolutely kills me, but its not ok to have horrible grumpy mornings every day.
what can you do to change it? Can you give him cartoons while you snooze on the lounge for half an hour? Do you need to go to sleep earlier? Can you pre-prepare breakfast so he can get it out in the morning and keep him engaged for a bit?
If you cant make a change in the house that helps then yes definitely get help theres never a wrong time to learn parenting strategies
This is normal per say and I would not feel to bad about the whole sitnation as in that's what they do however I have been here the last yr with my 4yr old.. I have read a lot on psychosocial development of children and parenting choices it was very interesting to read.
Firstly he does not mean it he is still working out what is going on and really it's up to us as parents to try figure out the best way to deal with it
Try active parenting. E.g... if he is not listening then distract him maybe ask him to helpleave make breakfast and then praise him give him the choice. Shouting however it is a natural reaction when you are sleepin deprived but if you take ten seconds to compose yourself it gets easier. I have seen huge improvements in my son the last few weeks it really works reactive parenting only makes them more disruptive and I know you probably get guilts after shouting at him
I too thought my boy had behaviour issues when really it was my lack of understanding of my little king . Do not worry and try reading Google above and it will give you some guidelines good luck always a fresh start to go on these are little guys who need guidance they are babies who really do notnot know how to communicate as well.as adults all learning but you got this and you will see how your other child will, watch and respond also... maybe try tactics before bed evening walk whilst having dinner on slow cooker . Aim at taking stress away from yourself to allow the few minutes extra to breathe and say ok how can I show him I am firm but acknowledging his behaviour in a constructive manner
I did! My son was later diagnosed with autism. He's now 17, he still gets hangry and stroppy at times, but he's a lovely kind helpful kid with a great sense of humor.
I read Raising A Spirited Child and went to parenting courses, autism/behaviour info sessions. I used to watch Supernanny, Dr PHIL, Oprah, tried and failed alot of their suggestions lol
Ensure you get plenty of me time (to recharge your batteries), arm yourself with plenty of strategies to try (boosts your confidence) and try to bring humour into a shitty situation. If all else fails (when he's not listening) start clucking like a chook ? It breaks the tension trust me!