Sorry this might be a bit of a long post but please I really need some help and advise ..
My grandfather is 83 and he's been a very fit and healthy man until the last year . He's been seeing his Doctor and been into hospital last week for an operation as he has bowl cancer . The problem is he isn't really sure what's wrong with him , what's happening next he's not very with it. He want let anyone else join his appointments and insists he's okay . He's in a lot of pain , he keeps falling over ( he got very injured last time ) and having a lot of problems with his bowls . I don't think the doctors know how serious it is as he's not telling them everything and he's hard to understand with his strong accent .
He also lives in the sticks he's about an 1hr away from town . My Nanan lives on the same property but different houses. He's also driving but really shouldn't be !
He is not my bioligical grandfather but been around since I was born and had alotnod input in raising me. I help and visit as much as I can but I have young kids. His biological daughter is his power of aterny but lives on the other side of the country and can't help at all , we have to call to let her know what's happening with him.
He needs help !! He's waking up 4 am thinking its 4 pm and driving into town calls Nanna up confused and disorientated . I don't know what to do or how to help when he want let us with him to appointments . He is in so much pain and he doesn't relies how bad he is . Who can I speak to ? How do I get help with not actually being related ? It's getting to much for my Nanna and it's so hard seeing him like this !
4 Replies
It sounds like it me time to speak to a social worker and get legal advice.
Most states have free legal hotlines, Google them. They can point you in the right direction.
Don't worry about that you're not biologically related. He's your granddad. That's what you say when you ask for help from anyone, because it's true.
Not sure which State you're in, but this is the starting point for Qld https://www.qld.gov.au/families/aged/pages/caring.html .
There is also a carers association that care give your Nan support. They can be found off this link too.
Good luck. It's a difficult time.
You can go see his doctors without out him to update them. Ask his daughter if she is able to maybe skype during a doctors appointment if you go along without him?
Google My Aged Care. There's a new system and from what I can tell, it's all about supporting older people to remain in their homes and independent (with support) for as long as possible. I live interstate from my 83 yo mother, but I have siblings who live close by and do a lot for her. I fly down regularly and we constantly discuss things over the phone.
I think the daughter needs to fly over and take him to the GP or to a hospital, and start the assessment process. If I was you, I'd go see the doctor and tell him/her your concerns. No they can't discuss the patient, but they can listen, and advise what you should do, well I'd hope they would be helpful. Make sure you book a double appt. They can also put in a request he get assessed for driving ability.