My 4.5 year old son won't poo in the toilet. He has been successfully peeing in the toilet both day and night since he was 3. He wears undies to bed and has never had an accident (apart from initial training period). When he needs to do a poo he askes for a nappy, its either in the morning or in the afternoon (generally) i have tried literally everything i can think of to get him to poo on the toilet. As he poos in morning or afternoon, it doesnt affect kindy. I have taken him to the doctor and there is no medical reason as to why, ive tried cutting holes in the nappy, ive tried only letting him wear the nappy in the bathroom/on the toilet, ive made him sit on the toilet for lengths of time while getting him to blow up balloons to encourage the pushing, ive tried sticker charts/reward charts (he doesn't care for stickers or rewards, so that was a complete flop) ive tried just taking away the nappies altogether and that backfired something shocking as he just held it in. My family keep harping at me saying i must be doing something wrong or theres something wrong with him as he wont poo in the toilet at his age. Which then my self esteem goes down the toilet. Ive heard kids will just decide to go when they are ready...but hes almost 5...i don't know if i can put up with my families comments until he just decides to go, i dont know even if he will just decide to go. Help, advice, im broken, exhausted and tired of feeling like im failing.
6 Replies
Whats his favourite lolly buy some put them in a container and tell him he gets some if he does a poo in the toilet dont give him a nappy. This was the only thing that got my 3 yrs old pooing. He chucked a stink and held it in. Thats when i gave him some prunes to get him moving he then had no choice. Once he did it once and learnt nothing was going to hurt him it was smooth sailing from their on.
Just don't give in. If he holds it in then suffer. He has to go eventually.. stand your ground! Just give him something to move his bowels along such as some cranberry juice or similar. If he does this once at school they will not help him nor clean him up - he needs to learn ASAP. Stop giving in :)
Poster here. Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately my son doesn't like lollies or chocolate, so using anything like that for a reward wouldn't work. When he held it in, he ended up in hospital, as he held it in even after been given prune juice and prescribed medication from the doctor to make him go. Even after given all those sort of things that normally would make it literally run out, he somehow still held on and got very sick, and i mean sick, he almost died. It was very scarey and doctors were stunned that even after all that he still held it in. I absolutely know that taking away the nappies and not giving in would be the ideal solution, however knowing that it literally nearly killed him last time, im not keen to try that move again.
You are not a failure. My boy was exactly the same! We tried everything and I mean everything to get him to poo on the toilet and nothing worked! Not even laxatives to get him going
He didn't poo on a toilet until he was 6 years and 8 months old... One day he just decided to do it. There was no fighting the toilet or asking for a pull up he just did it and his done it ever since on the loo
I copped the whole " oh his to old for nappies" comments to.. I just learnt to brush them off and just go along with what made my son comfortable.
I usually made sure I was home for him to do a poo and didn't talk about it to my family and that helped calm the comments..
Don't stress about it to much it will happen. Trust me..!
You are not alone. My son has peed in the potty since he was 2 but I can not get him to poo (he is just over 3 now). I have literally tried everything and he will not. I did take the nappies away and that ended badly too. I am also copping a lot of comments from my mum like she thinks I am a bad mum or am not Trying hard enough or something. I figure he will eventually do it. I talk to him a lot about it and he does tell me poo goes in the toilet and sometimes he will say he will but won't.
My son is 4 and the same. I took him to an occupational therapist and it worked for peeing, but not pooing. I also have put my foot down (thinking I needed to be stronger and more forceful) and he was horrendously constipated and screaming. Decided it wasn't worth it. He has been scared of crocodiles in the toilet, also doesn't like the smell of poo. Could it be your son is afraid of something or doesn't like the smell? I explained the sewege pipes to my son, Looked at plumbing pictures and took him to the wastage plant to see there are no way monsters could get up the toilet. Today we had a unintentional step forward. Today when I changed his nappy I almost threw up. Must have been something he ate, but I told him he is doing man poos now like Daddy now and I can't change his nappy anymore. I suggested pooing in the toilet or we come up with another plan for him to poo and clean his bum. HE suggested putting the poo from his nappy into the toilet, wiping his bum with toilet paper and flushing it away. Later, he sat on the seat for one minute with a nappy on and tried to poo. Didn't happen so he stood in bathroom, then sat on toilet while opened his nappy, tried to dropped some into the bowl (Didnt work lol) and he wiped his bum!!! He gagged cause he didn't like the smell, so that is the next thing for us to get creative about so the smell isn't off putting. He wanted to use a lot of toilet paper though while wiping his bum and the toilet blocked!!!!!! Ah well unblocked and all good lol. We got chicken and chips for dinner as a treat for wiping his own bum and sitting on the toilet, and agreed to sit again on the toilet next time to poo in the nappy, because it takes practise to sit an poo. Will see how we go to tomorrow. I too have felt like a failure and stressed because of it. Just mainly want to share your not alone. Xox