Hi mums. I'm just wondering how many of you in Internet land continued to stay at home or plan to stay home after all your kids were / are at school.
My two are 6 and 8, both pretty settled in school and doing well. I told myself I was going to back to work after my youngest finished kindergarten and now that she has I just find myself totally lost.
My last two jobs were hugely traumatic, I worked for an emotionally abusive psycho in one and then was bullied horribly at the one after that. I'm so scared to go back to work and find myself in that position again, I just can't seem to get past it. I get shaky and short of breath just looking at jobs on seek. I've done heaps of counselling and it hasn't really helped.
My partner is super supportive and he makes enough that we get by, but obviously we would be more comfortable if I was contributing as well.
I love being at home, I love picking up my kids every day and helping them with homework and reading and driving them to extracurriculars and being able to go to all their performances. I have a ton of hobbies so I'm never bored at home. But I feel so useless and like I'm such a drain on my partner.
I don't really know what I'm asking here but I guess I would love to know how long others stayed home after having kids? Maybe ideas for very low stress income earners? People have suggested I try to make some money out of my craft but I don't feel like it's good enough there are so many talented people on etsy and Pinterest I don't feel like I could compete. My self esteem is pretty much in the toilet :-(
9 Replies
Working can really improve your self esteem, i found it did for me. Its a combination of doing something productive, taking care of your appearance, being financially independent, security, interacting with adults and working your brain and social skills, it allows you choices which is empowering.
Have you considered work as a teachers aid?school hours still be home for your kids.
I am in similar position.
I've been reminding myself this -
"A comfort zone may be a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there"
My mum went back to work after i was a few months old for a short time and she hated it, as i was only young i became scared of her as i no longer recognised her...my mum left work that week and has never gone back and im now 25, then 4 siblings under me, youngest has just started high school and my mum has never gone back to work and im pretty sure she has no plans to. She enjoys being home, doing her hobbies and she does volunteer work a few days a week...my mum finds volunteer work very rewarding, perhaps that could be something you could look into. All the best xx
I don't have a problem with anyone wanting to be a stay at home mum if that's what works for your family, great.
The only thing that concerns me about SAHM long term is Centrelink benefits are getting tighter and more stringent. So protections for mothers if something happens to the bread winner or divorce there is no safety net. I think having some kind of part time work is smart, because the longer you are out, the harder it is to go back and the fastest growing group of homeless people is woman who have adult children and husbands have left them, leaving them on unemployment.
Could you do some volunteer work at the school or in the community to get your confidence back? Maybe a casual night fill or similar job after that just get your feet wet and used to interacting in a professional environment. But no there is nothing wrong with staying home if you can afford it! Maybe even work for yourself? Graphic design, handmade, ironing you can do lots working for yourself or at home! Good luck!
I have been a SAHM for 13 years (1 child) and am struggling to get back into the workforce. I can't even get an interview. I am 47 and am now starting to wonder if I will ever be employed again. I loved being a SAHM when my son was younger but am now regretting not going back when he started primary school. Unemployment is high and the longer you are out the harder it will be to get back in. I volunteer at the school and have done so forever but have found it really doesn't mean much to employers as there is so many people to choose from.
If you are interested in craft, etc why not look at retail work P-T at somewhere like Spotlight - people love having knowledgeable retail assistants. It's the same for the older tradies working at Bunnings... just a thought.
As much as I would have loved to be a SAHM I went back to f/t when our son was 4. Now he's an adult and I'm a senior manager at my workplace.
Personally I couldnt just stay home while my kids were at school anyway. Is that really a stay at home mum when the kids arnt even home? I know its scary but getting back into the workforce is a great way to build up your confidence. I stayed home for 3 years with my youngest and was so scared when I started working again.. Now I love it!