Am I enrolling my child into too many things? I haven't chosen Any of them except for swimming lessons which I see is a must. She does private swim lesson one afternoon after kindy, horse riding one afternoon once a fortnight (looking at maybe weekly) she than does dance one afternoon a week and than dance again on a Saturday morning. She attends kindy 5 days as I work part time.
I'm a single mum and yes financially it's hard and time wise too it's hard but she has asked to do ALL of these. I haven't chosen any on her behalf. I put her into dancing when she was younger and she didn't like it so we stopped. She has recently asked to do dancing which is way she now does that. She loves horses and she'll never give that one up.
I didn't do any things I wanted when I was younger and I remember thinking I wish I could do them (I was in school when I remember wanting to do things and couldnt). So I feel like because she's asking I want her to enjoy the things she wants to do. There is a 3rd dancing class that runs after the Saturday one that she's asked to do but I feel like it might be too much.
Am I putting too much on her schedule? I want her to be active and doing things she loves rather than sitting at home watching tv etc.
People tell me I'm crazy for allowing her to do it all.
What's everyone's thoughts?
Edited to add: what I meant was it's tv or play which isn't exercise it's more sit and play with her horses, barbies or her art and craft table or swing on our play gym. It's not keeping her active where dancing lets her be active with exercise. She's a very full on child. Doesn't loose energy very much so loves being on the go. I encourage her to use her imagination and she has free play where she'll play with whatever and make her own game or fun. But it's more indoors which is fine but it's not really any form of exercise to use up some of her engergy.
13 Replies
If you can afford it and have the time and she is coping with it all, enjoying it then it's fine.
I'd probably put some boundaries on it though, you are the parent and you are allowed to say no. I'd probably say no to the extra dance class for now, especially if horse riding goes up to once a week. Or you could give the choice of extra dance class OR horse riding.
Its great giving our kids opportunities to try things and I had a lot of extra curricular activities growing up and have fond memories BUT it's also important to teach our kids that they can't do everything and get everything they ask for. It's an important lesson otherwise they grow up extremely frustrated adults when they can't afford everything they want and desire.
I don't think your daughter is over scheduled
How old? I think its great shes active but just remember the choice isnt only classes or sitting home watching tv. Free play is so so important for kids development. She could dance at home, use youtube videos for inspo or music to make her own dances. Does she also have free time with the horses or only lessons?
Youll know if shes tired or overstretched or not managing but personally i would increase the free play time before adding any more classes, as well as being essential for development its a good way to introduce practice responsibility and ownership (without forcing it as a chore) instead of just rocking up to a classes.
If you are happy and she's happy and you can easily afford it then keep doing it. But being at home doesn't just mean sitting in front of the tv...there are many, many activities she can do at home that will keep her active.
I'd probably stick to only one after school activity. Especially for such a young child. They can burn out so easily.
So I'd pick her favourite- either horses, OR dance. (Swimming is fine to do on top of this).
You need to realise the more she does now, the more she'll want later.
Horses are expensive, so if she'll ever get one when older, you'll never afford extra stuff.
Sorry she does have free play at home as well. She loves playing with her toys but it's not excerise sort of activities. It's not sitting doing art and craft in her art and craft table it playing with her horses barbies etc. I probably worded it wrong and will update original post. As she doesn't sit in front of the tv she just does quiet play not exercise play.
She's coping fine and isn't tired or anything she enjoys it a lot. I'm ok to say no to things and I have said no to soccer because she wanted to do this too but i said no it was dance or soccer and she chose dancing.
I'm just worried about her doing too many things. As people are telling me it's too much. It's ok financially I work to support us and if I ever can't afford it she's ok to skip a horse riding lesson etc.
if we were to get our own horse than we'd look at what was possible and what wasn't. I wouldn't need to pay for boarding as my family have some property. She does get to help unsaddle, brush the horse down, etc.
What is too much for one child isn't enough for another. As long as she is happy and coping then it's nobody else's business.
Why isnt she active? Do you play sportswith her, jump on the trampoline, do dancing etc?not judging, just thinking this could be why she wants to do so many classes. Its interesting she doesnt want to do art classes or music or playdates etc all sports. We have a trampoline its great for burning energy, we also scoot around the block, go for walks to find collections to use for craft later, and go swimming quite a lot.
Maybe shes just an active social girl and classes work out best for you. I dont think a kid can do too much, youll definitely notice if shes burned out.
Yes we have a trampoline, we turn the music up and dance to music or listen to it and clean. we take the dogs for a walk a few times a week, we stop at a park, we swim in families pools, we do so much stuff but she never seems to want much down time. She's free to play outdoors whenever and she loves being outside. We have play dates. We have tickets to a theme park. She's just such an active child and never seems to want to stop.
And yes I guess what's too much for one might not be for others. My family have just put a lot of focus on me l tying her do so many things that I'm left thinking maybe it's too much.
If it works for you and her thats all that mattere. If it stretches you financially or time wise you have to draw the line somewhere but thats your decision to make noone elses.
Next time press your family further about what exactly their issue is and why it bothers them so much when its your situation not theirs.
Can I just say there is absolutely nothing wrong with free play and arts and crafts etc, it's actually quite healthy for the mind. She does not need to be active 24/7.
She absolutely has free play. She has a great imagination and is happy to sit and play with her things. She currently playing with Lego. Loves art and craft and has a massive table just for her. I'm a big believer that she also needs to be able to be creative and play with her things and have a great imagination.
Ok, by your post it sounded like you did not want her doing things like that and wanted her to always be active. My mistake.
All good. I encourage it. But she's just not doing a lot of psychical exercise where dancing is a psychical exercise.
Maybe I should edit my post again. I didn't think to put loads of details.