I'm turning 25 this year and I feel like I've done nothing significant in my 20's and I feel like I should have everything together at this age. We don't own a house (would love to) we don't have kids yet (desperately TTC) Im studying (not completed though) dont have a fulltime job (would love the stable income), don't really have any savings and have a small pile of debt Im ever so slowly eradicating. I feel like I've spent the years after school doing things that haven't got me anywhere. I always seem to be thinking of the "Could of, would of, Should of" Could of finished a degree by now..would of had a FT job....Should of not wasted my early adult life wasting money and taking the FT job I had for granted..etc etc. Hubby works FT and I do a bit of casual work but I always feel as if Im falling short because I don't really bring any money in. And often he makes me know it too.
6 Replies
Don't be to hard on yourself. Im also 25, and have not yet done most of things that i want to do with my life. Life is expensive and often challenging enough without putting to much pressure on yourself to achieve everything by a certain time. Pick one goal and work towards that goal, once that goal is done then choose another goal and so forth. Dont stress. I honestly thought i would have my life together by now as well and i honestly dont haha and thats ok.
I had what I call my quarter-life crisis. The night before my 25th I lay awake and cried all night. It was shit but honestly it was pretty cleansing, and a catalyst to start making some changes.
Don't be too hard on yourself, it isn't very encouraging that your husband is treating you that way as you are in the marriage to support one another no matter what :(
Is there any way you can start working more hours and bringing in some more money that can get you to where you want to be? Having kids is a very expensive path to take so it's best to start planning for the future (I realise you are studying, but in the hope you fall pregnant soon you may not have time to get a FT job with maternity leave).
I'm the complete other end of the table, I'm 20 and am married, own a house and have a kid (also work FT!). Sometimes I feel like I have pushed myself too quick too soon and would like to go back and experience some of the things I missed out on.
Don't be so hard on yourself, you are still young, plenty of time!
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. You have plenty of time to work things out, you're being incredibly hard on your self. You'll get there, just you do you girl
Yeah i set a bunch of goals for 30 and smashed them all, which was nice,then i had kids and years felt wasted and struggled again, then Ill be in my forties. This is life, it goes so quick if youre not happy or working on something you love, do it. And equally theres not much more to life than love and family and happiness, so feeling like youve wasted it is a negative spin on your own choices. Life is not about money and fulltime work. Have you spent it learning about love and relationships and your passions and what you like and what you dont, what you want and what you dont, it sounds like you have a pretty clear set of goals in what youve written, so youre learning and growing, thats not wasting it