Hey IMs I am at breaking point with my six year old son. I find I am unable to play much with him anymore and all he talks about and does is super heros of any kind. I try to get him out and about to shoe him other things exist and it's a fight to get out the door he yells at me throws things and kicks whatever is in front of him. He has a two year old sister and I am with this kids 12 days out of a fortnight as a single mum
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Ok I'm assuming he had become hyper focused on super heroes and it's more than Normal childhood interest in super heroes add that to his behaviour I'm going to assume this more than just normal childhood temper tantrums.
How is he going at school? Have you had any disorders ruled out by a paediatrician such as autism/Aspergers etc? Have you ever received any support from a child psychologist?
Thank you he is doing well at school but has started to complain about kids picking on him at lunch times etc. I have not had him tested for any disorders and have thought about some anger management type therapy
I agree with above being hyper focused on one play is one sign of asd, it depends if he is showing others. Or does he use an ipad / internet then this resistance to leave would be signs of a technology addiction.
Does he go to school? Does he do regular chores / routines to get ready for school or get out of the house? I would start a visual chart and there would be no superhero play in the morning until its done, that would be the reward for doing it.
Do you and him interact in anything? Do you think this could be repaired with some effort to reconnect. It would involve dragging him along for a while but when he realised youre invested and its about him and its fun he will come around.
When trying to get out the door make sure you have told him clearly whats happening and give him a ten minute reminder so its not a shock, some kids find it really hard to change activities and need lots of preparation (also a sign of asd)
Sometimes you just need a shake up of the air in the house. Get a plan in place and make the changes and see the child change too. But if your child isnt managing with day to day life and you should see a doctor or psychologist for more professional help.
Thank you I have tried to tell him early what will be happening for the day and give him notice. Have also tried a rewards chart and chores chart but nothing seems to make an improvement on the why I am spoke to or treated. At school he does well in class and had recently been telling me he is having trouble at lunch times with kids trading him. I don't think he knows how to deal with them and I am trying to teach him the world is about more than what he thinks etc
I think its time for you both to see a professional. He might not have the social skills for lunchtime, especially if he only wants to play superheroes all the time. Also from seeing my psychologist Ive learned that explosive reactions doesnt mean an anger problem, it means there are things in their world that the child isnt coping with, which builds to a point of being easily triggered and quick to blow.
The earlier you get him help and understood the better it will be for him :)
Firstly you are doing a great job!
May I suggest that you head to your GP as they can refer you to a paediatrician who could possibly then refer you to specialists for assessments.
We always beleived our son was simply a little bit shy as he hid behind us and didn't say a lot unless he was super comfortable with someone. Turns out after seeing a paediatrician who then referred us to other specialists, our son suffers from social anxiety and has a severe speech and language impairment. This finally explained why he was hiding in class and not wanting to participate - he simply didnt understand instructions from his teacher.
My case is obviously a little bit different to yours but Im letting you know because I feel we never would have found this out if someone hadnt suggested seeing a paed just to see if there was a bigger picture.
Good luck :)
I hear you! 12 days straight with spirited kids is exhausting!
As a mum of kids with ASD, I use whatever their interest at the time is, to get things done. Weave that superhero into every day tasks. 'Would superman kick his mum?' 'Superheroes need to go to bed on time to be able to fight crime' 'superheroes brush their teeth'. And make it funny (if your son gets humour) really play it up and act out superman or whoever he's into, falling asleep as he's flying or being stinky in his suit (if hygiene is a problem), Lois Lane would not be kissing him if he didn't shower!
But def get some help for both of you, strategies, coping techniques and social skills ie how to make friends. The school counsellor might be a good place to start, and keep an eye out for parenting courses. You'll soon know if it's age appropriate development or not, and if it's not, go see a paediatrician