Hi IM's just hoping to get some clarity from hearing others opinions on this. I'm 48 yrs old with children from my previous marriage ... the youngest being 10 ... and am now in a long term relationship with a wonderful guy who I love very much and he feels the same. He's 10 years younger though and doesn't have any children of his own. It wasn't an issue at the start (we've been together for almost 18 months) but just lately he's talking about wanting to have a baby with me.. The problem is I think I'm too old. I love little baby's and I know he'd be a fantastic father, but how old is too old?? That's if I could even fall pregnant in the first place ... at the moment I'm on the pill but he wants me to go off it and see what happens. I told him I'd seriously think about it ... but one of my big problems is if I did happen to fall I'd be really embarrassed to tell people I was pregnant at 48! I know people would talk .. and I know I shouldn't care what other people think if it's something we both really want ... but I still would. Also would I be able to cope being pregnant and that age and then look a a little baby ... I don't know if I'd have the energy to be honest. As I said pls no negative comments just hoping to hear from some other people who may have been in the same position as me. Thanks for reading :)
7 Replies
Have you and he had a chat to your GP?
I've been taken by surprise with some men folk in my life and there lack of knowledge and understanding regarding how a woman's body works and pregnancy! Most of them seem to be oblivious to the physical toll it takes and the entire not fertile for ever, kind of info. Plus oblivious to the risks etc.
I don't want to be a Debbie downer, but your chances of falling naturally are next to impossible so you are probably going to have to consider assistance in some form. Are you willing to go through the rigours of IVF etc.? Your chances of trisonomy 21 increase with age too, please, do your research and consider every scenario. Get a referral to a fertility specialist first and get yourselves both checked out, you don't want the angst of wondering everything month if it isn't possible. Good luck, I don't think you should worry about what people think, you need to do what will make your family happy but you also have to be realistic and consider how much money and time you are willing to put in to make it happen. You may even need to cut him loose if this is something he really wants.
My mum had 3 kids in her 20's and then 2 kids in her 40's. Younger 2 have a different dad. Mum has said she definitely had more energy in her 20's, but she said she has no regrets and they are as happy as larry. People did talk, and question her choice to have the other 2 kids, but my mum basically told them where to shove their opinions. My mum did however go to the doctors before falling pregnant to have a health check and everything first. It honestly comes down to if its what you want...all the best
Maybe both go to the doctors and have a fertility test done to see if you can do it naturally. Maybe if you can fall naturally give it 2 years then if it doesn't happen at least you know you gave it ago. Don't let other people's opinions get you down there is always going to be some one with a negative response. Good luck with what ever
I would be getting yourself checked out look at the risks for disability as well as the women's age significantly increases the chance of that ... are you
Both prepared if that occurs , who will care for the child if your health declined etc , maybe talk to
A family planning
Counselor together get all
The risks out on the table then talk about whether your
Still wanting to try ... you will
Also need to consider whether your prepared for ivf should naturally not work out ..... good luck though!
One of my friends had a baby. At 48 to be exact, just like you. She was under pressure to terminate, told bub would probably miscarry, have chromosome disorders etc etc. She kept it and had a very healthy baby who is now 5 years old. Have a chat with your GP. It's definitely a possibility if you want to go down that road.
My mum was 46 when she had my little sister, there's 30 years between the oldest and youngest and to be honest, from a child point of view, it's good fun. Do what you're happy with and capable of xxx