Update to should I be concerned or not

Update to should I be concerned or not.

I have spoke with a councillor who has advised me to document and watch very closely at visits. I also have an appointment to go meet with them.

To those who have asked supervised visits are due to domestic violence orders, drugs, alcohol, drink driving, very lengthy criminal history. There was also a time he watched her for two days and when I bathed her the second day there was bruising on her leg. To which I asked how did that happened. He struggled it off. I didn't think much more of it and thought she must have fallen over until I got a phone call from my mum the next day (daughter went to pajamas because she was still sleeping) at work asking what the hand mark was. I said what hand mark? There was odd bruising on her leg when I bathed her last night. My mum sent me a picture and it most definately was a hand mark. When questioned he just brushed over it and said he didn't know. He was the only one who could've done that!

She is 4. She is a pretty smart child and she knows what a girls part is called vagina which we sometimes call giney. She was referring to a penis when she did that I'm 99% sure. We've never addressed a penis because there's never needed to be. Which now I regret immensely.

At visits in the playground he used to ask her to go sit up in the toys. I couldn't see from where I am. She did for a couple times but than stopped and always wanted to be near me. He would ask her to go up but she would say no for a very long time. At this particular visit he had taken her up into the play equipment and come down saying she said she needed to go to the toilet and he was going to take her while holding her hand. She did say no daddy when I said mummy would. Which isn't like her ever! She's never asked for him to take her ever. He's also told her he was going to take her and not to tell this disturbed her sleep and she eventually disclosed to me this.

What concerns me is after this happened it triggered my memory to go hold on wasn't there something where I was uneasy and questioned what he was saying when we were sexting once. I actually have the text messages where he states he'd like to teach a boy and a girl how to have sex. My response was what are you talking about? What do you mean? At the time I wanted him to admit more but his response was oh but of course they would need to be of legal age. Just something ive thought about. It creeped me out and stayed in my mind for awhile. He then also asked if I ever liked younger boys. My response was no way! I've always liked older guys. It was super weird and now I think back he was always asking about loads of details of when I was a kid/teenager and my sexual experiences. He is a lot older than me and he just sucked me in at the time. My eyes are opened so much more since I'm free of him. He always paid too much attention to the younger kids. Like super friendly.

I have no proof he has done anything. But my mind is racing still and I can't stop thinking about it. My daughter was always red down there when she was younger and sometimes a lot more than other times. I'm now going over so many details in my head because I'm like should I have noticed something sooner. Since I've left and he hasn't been allowed into my home she's not very red down there like she used to be. Like blistered bad and they never found any reasons even tho I took her to the dr about it they said they didn't know. Maybe an exma sort of thing because they didn't know. She also never ever would let anyone dry between her legs from a young age. To the point she would be squeezing her legs tight together when you tried drying her after a bath. My mother and sister also noticed this when they watched her on the odd occsssion or when I was there and seen it. I always thought it was odd because once she got old enough j did say no one touches us etc etc bu she was too young and I never explained any of that to her.

Those little things are now playing in my mind. He always wanted to have sex even if she was in the bed I'd say no! He goes she's too young to know. It was creepy and made me feel uneasy and most defiantly was not a turn on.

The visit after she disclosed the touch my pokie she did not want to go sit up in the equipment she stayed sitting on the seats near me and didn't venture very far.

I just don't know what to do or think. Is she just displaying normal child behaviour or is there something wrong. Visits are sometimes once a week depending on if my ex decides he has something else on.

Her dad does say things that aren't nice about me to her a lot as well. Her behaviour is crazy since he has started visits more regularly. He says to her daddy shaved just for you. Because she doesn't like the facial her touching her face when he tries to kiss her. Or daddy didn't shave but he will for next time.

I have so much anxiety worry upset and feel sick leaving her anywhere now where I can't see her. I can't stop thinking about it. All I want is to protect her and that's all I've ever tried to do while still trying to be a good and fair mum. It's breaking my heart.

She hid and was sort of embarrassed when I said oh who said that. Oh when did that happen etc etc. it's hard to explain but when she acts like she did she normally isn't telling you everything.

She's not one to lie and will say I broke it by accident or I broke it because it comes of. Yes I'm teaching her there aren't excuses but she's normally up front and honest with me because while yes I may get cross I also treat her that there are consequences when she's naughty.

Thank you all for your kind words and advice I will be reading her a few books now just to be sure and I am keeping an even closer eye at visits.