How do I talk to my boss about the way she treats her staff? She is a bully. She has a lot of stress in her life. Personal and professional. She owns her business and has kids.
But she treats all her staff like we are just naughty kids. There is never encouragement. Always negative. She messaged us on our days off about things we don't know the answer too. Then gets the shits when we can't answer it. Or we have made a mistake.
Her life is more stressful then anyone else's and none of us staff can have a crisis cause we all have to be at her beck and call.
I love my job. The ladies I work with and the kids. But my boss is so two faced and manipulative. She is a gossip queen and will bitch about everyone and everything and doesn't care who hears it.
Help me. I need to find a way to stand up to her without losing my job. Cause I have kids too. One has just started year 7. And I am missing out on a lot of time with my kids to work for this person who treats me like crap.
There is so much more I could say but giving away the whole story could cost me my job I feel.
4 Replies
I have been in the situation and ultimately, I had to leave to get away from the toxicity of it. The problem with narcissistic people is that when you bring something to their attention, they will go out of their way to make it worse for you. I don't see a way to go about it with you being able to continue on comfortably at work.
We had rostered days off and then when they asked to come in on those days and we said no because we already had plans, we were threatened with being fired or she would openly complain to everyone how you won't go out of your way for your "career". It's hard :(
I also left! Bullies are terrible to deal with and they DONT want to change. We were forced to be paid as 'contractors' even though in every single way we were actually employees, except we had to supply our own stationary! I worked in an office, I went to the same place everyday, they set and controlled my work hours and which clients I was with and when and they set my pay rate.
Except every month I had to send them an invoice (itemised) in order to get paid. It was a nightmare for tax purposes, because I needed an ABN, but if you filled out the questions correctly on the ABZn application, you got turned down.
They would change my work hours at late notice, even though it was supposed to be the same times each week (twice they changed my hours to 8am Monday, from 10am, letting me know 10pm Sunday night).
It didn't matter how many chats, discussions etc
I have been in this situation twice. Unfortunately, I find women the worst to work for. I have never had a great boss that's a female. (I'm female as well) I can handle a boss being strict, no problems at all. What I couldn't handle was them saying one thing, then telling someone something else. Saying I want black, then saying I said white (for example) Texting/calling on days off for silly things. Not just a simple text either essays of shit that didn't concern me. Telling me I couldn't call in sick when I could barely get out of bed. Causing staff members to have panic attacks. The way you feel like your walking on eggshells because you never know if they like or hate you today.
I lasted with the first witch quite awhile but the 2nd one I was gone within months. It was so hard both times as you build great relationships with your fellow employees. But these people never change. Just leave. Even find a job before you leave. I have never regretted leaving those 2 jobs.
It's like being in an abusive relationship. It will erode your confidence the longer you stay. You have to do what is best for you. Create boundaries for now, while you look for another job. Unless you have a contract that states you are on call 24/7, don't answer her on your days off.