I Am after some relationship advice as I have no one else to turn to. I was with a guy for 6 years we broke up and I got with a guy that was very nasty, I escaped him and got back with my ex and fell pregnant, I moved away and had my son alone and have raised my son by myself for 12 months. There is so much past between my sons father and I - he left me alone when I had cancer to sleep with other women, when I was in labour he left me to do it alone because he was busy with another women, my sons whole life he has been with other women but pleading to me otherwise, he said he was going to change, he would come home with makeup on his shirts, said they were from friends hugging him, I found out otherwise, I still went back to him, he emotionally abused me so bad, I was petrified of him and my sons safety only when he was using drugs, but when he didn't use drugs he was the most amazing person, but I keep going back to him again and again, we tried to make things work he lied to me and was dating a girl I considered a best friend and blocked me so I didn't realise, he is now in custody broken up with this girl after she robbed him for everything he had and is pleading to me otherwise that he loves me and is going to change etc, I have an amazing guy that has come into my life, how do I move on from my sons father, how do I get past him, from crawling back from filling my head with false hopes and giving this guy a chance without being made to feel guilty, I am struggling so bad with it all. I don't know what to do or where to turn, I know I will always be made out to be the bad guy.
7 Replies
You need to get a referral for a counsellor or psychologist who has experience in domestic violence. They can help you get strong.
I was seeing a social worker but they were of no help to me, they told me he was toxic but have been of no help :( I also suffer from ptsd from stuff that happened to me when I was a child, they are more concerned about that relapsing due to now having a child of my own
A social worker is different, see a psychologist
Also you might find it helpful to reduce contact with your ex. Block him on social media, if he rings your phone get a cheap prepay just for his calls. Block him on your regular phone. Only check your phone once a day maximum and only contact him via text on that phone if the conversations are about your child. If they are not about the child don't respond.
No offence intended at all but honestly you haven't dealt with what your ex put you through and it sounds horrendous :-( I would be asking your current partner for a decent break to work on yourself and get yourself sorted. If he's the one he will wait but either way I think you need to be alone for a while. 1st step and most important is to not let any inappropriate conversations happen with your sons dad. When he talks about getting back together tell him not to be inappropriate or you are ending the call. If he is out of line do it. Keep it simple and all about the child. Do not let him create drama in your world. Ignore it because he wants a bite and that is why he's doing it. Good luck
You need to have some time by your self without a partner so you can work out who you are and what you want for yourself, even some counseling might be in order. Then and only then consider bringing a partner into your life again.
Block all contact. Do not even listen you know hes a lying abusive c*nt he does not deserve your time. Block block block dont let him in.